Immature for life
by HokageNaruto
Summary: Why can't Naruto grow up? Even at eighteen Naruto gets into trouble, pulling pranks and things he used to do as a kid. NarutoxSakura. Ch 13 up finally. A little unconventional with this chapter.
1. Pranks

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. ::sigh:: **

**This is just something I had to get out and onto the internet. NarutoxSakura.**

**Kyuubi Talking**

_Thoughts_

_**Inner Sakura**_

"Regular talking"

* * *

Pranks

Naruto is a prankster at heart; even if he is 18 years old the thrill just doesn't escape. He loved the sheer excitement from totally humiliating someone he knew. He just didn't understand why everyone did not feel the same. Sakura and Naruto have been dating for a year and a half.

Sasuke has been back for two years and is still under constant surveillance. Had it not been for Naruto's connection to Tsunade he would have been long dead, but of course Naruto used his huge blue puppy dog eyes on her and she had no choice. However, he was constantly watched, and had a chakra tracker in him courtesy of Yamato. He is on probation after serving 8 months, in jail. Jail in Konoha is not easy, guards could beat, interrogate, and taunt prisoners; after all it is a Shinobi jail.

Lately, Sakura had noticed Naruto carrying around a notepad inspecting certain parts of the city and his home (she had moved in, but there was nothing perverted going on) occasionally writing down what he saw. She understood it as an assignment from Tunade to familiarize himself with the village he would soon command. (He is to become Rokudaime in another year.)

"Hokage-Sama wake up!" yelled a clearly upset Shizune.

"Hm..?" she lifted her head for a split second only to lay it back down and fall asleep.

"Wake up!" no response came. "WAKE UP!" At that Tsunade woke up clearly pissed off. "You have work to do, if you remember you are the Hoka-." She had just opened her eyes after what seemed to be a ridiculously long sigh and head shake, to see Tsunade's face "vandalized."

"What?"

"…Your face"

"What about it?"

"It is covered in orange marker, and it says I'm an old, lying ha-" At that moment she realized the assailant. _"Naruto what have you done. You're going to get yourself killed"_

"NARUTO!!!" Tsunade burst through the door of her office, to find a poster in the hall that said "Grandma Tsunade…" it went on from there. She didn't need to read it, she knew it would be demeaning.

"Tsunade-sama come quick!" Shizune called Tsunade into another room. She pointed to the Hokage monument. The right side of her face was covered in orange graffiti. It said "If you guess my age you can become Hokage today."

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BRAT!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. A vein in her forehead now the size of a python was clearly pulsating. _"Does that brat live to piss me off? What have I done in a past life to deserve this hell!"  
_

* * *

"SHIT! I'm going to be late to the hospital! Why didn't you wake me up Naruto?" Sakura, currently washing her face, had to get to her rounds in less than 5 minutes to meet with Tsunade at 7:00 a.m.

"You looked so peaceful."

"That is a lame excuse do I look peaceful now."

"No"

"Well now you know. Could you get me towel _stat_?"

"_I hate how she uses her medical lingo now like she's a full-fledged doctor."_ He got her a towel. "Yeah here you go Sakura." He gave her the towels and the honorifics were no longer necessary ever so he never used them. "Actually, I'll get that for you" he said wiping off her face.

"Thanks" she said not knowing Naruto had put orange powder on the towel earlier. He knew she would ask for one, she always does. "Crap! Sakura it is already 7:0 4. C'mon I'll walk you there."

"Alright let's go."

As they were walking, Sakura could hear sneering and laughing in their direction. She thought it was because of the poor blonde next to her. Unbeknownst to her, it was her now orange face.

"_I wonder why everyone is snickering and smiling at us today. People stopped bothering Naruto for years now" _she saw TenTen and Hinata walking along the street and thought she should ask them.

"What is everyone laughing about?"

"W-well Sakura-san t-they a-are laughing… w-well…ummm-" said a nervous Hinata. It wasn't that Naruto was there. She got over him. It was the fact that telling Sakura would mean _seeing_ Sakura pissed.

"That's a nice shade of makeup Sakura. It matches with the couple thing I guess"

She looked at TenTen perplexed. "I didn't wear any make-" TenTen had a mirror held up to Sakura's face.

"See."

"Shit! WHAT THE FUCK!! NARUTO I"LL GOING TO KILL YOU" It was too late Naruto was already on a mad dash to get the hell out of there. _"Shit where is he"_

"**_There look" _**said inner Sakura. She then followed the blonde which would have been harder had it not been for his bright colors

"_Shit I wasn't expecting that too happen. Damn TenTen. I have to think of a way out of this, maybe flowers or dinner or something. I need another plan now though to save my ass, I guess that's the mark of a true prankster 'always think on your feet.'"_

Sakura couldn't catch up to the future Rokudaime. She needed help. Luckily, Tsunade showed up.

"The brat." Sakura nodded, and they both knew what needed to be done.

"Let's kill him." They went and chased him at full speed.

* * *

A knock was heard and the Yamanaka Flower shop. _"It is probably the rose delivery I should get that."_

"Could you get that?" Inoichi asked his daughter from the back.

"I already did."

"Ok"

Ino opened the box to find atleast 30 to 40 roses had been spray painted orange. _"Naruto" _she thought for a second.

She also found a stuffed fox doll. _"What the hell does he try to taunt me? That bastard. I'll kill him."_

She suddenly saw a yellow and orange blur pass by the store. She ran out of the store and after the blonde idiot.

"I'll be right back." she said to her father before the door closed._ "After I kill this stupid punk that is."_

"_Shit, Shit, Shit. Tsunade-baachan, Ino, and Sakura are all after me, fuck. I'll have to pull a quick one to get out of this. DAMN a dead end!"_

Naruto, the idiot he is, ran into a dead end. _"CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!"_

Ino slowly walked up to him, glaring, like a tiger stalking its prey. Just as she was about to "pounce," Sakura and Tsunade come quickly around the corner.

"NARUTO UZUMAKI, what the hell were you thinking!" boomed a pissed of Tsunade the marks on her face now washed off. "You made Sakura and I look like FOOLS!"

"Yeah and you wasted my flower shops money."

"I'm so sorry." He looked at them with his sad puppy dog eyes.

"Oh you'll be sorry." Sakura said putting on her black gloves.

"But Sakura-cha-" He used the honorific and Tsunade knew what that meant.

"YOU are not getting out of this that easy, but first explain yourself." All three medical kunoichi looked at him arms crossed and feet tapping.

"_Yes! Alright I'll need to make up something that moves them into a forgiving mood. Think, think…OH I've got it."_

The shinobi's big blue eyes looked began to shine a little as he gave them a sad look. That look, on its own softened the hearts of all three kunoichi, as all of them thought, _"He has got such beautiful eyes."_

"Well," he began, "I'm so lonely. You guys are always off doing your own cool things in the village while I'm stuck at home."

"You have other friends," Sakura said rather cold.

"Yeah, but I like you guys more. I mean Sasuke is under probation so we can't do anything that is too much fun. Neji and Shino have sticks in their asses. Need I say more? You guys… you guys are the best and I miss you." At the end of this he looked down until his hair covered his eyes, as if he was trying to selfishly keep their persuasive glare.

"Naruto…" Sakura looked at the sad boy in front of her. _**"He's just a boy who misses you, God you didn't have to be so hard on him." "**Shut up."_ She finally spoke again. "I'm sorry I've been so busy at the hospital. I promise I will spend more time with you."

"Me too"

"I guess I can at least talk and not yell when you come into the office"

"So you forgive me." His face lit up so much that it was almost blinding. They all nodded. "You guys are the best" He jumped up and embraced all three of them, considering he was fairly taller than all of them.

"I'll make it up to ya. _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_" Two clones showed up, making a total of three Narutos.

"Tsunade-Baabchan did you even read the whole poster"

"No"

"Read it," he said grinning.

She pulled it out and read, "Grandma Tsunade… is the best old lady ever and if you stare at her you'll have to deal with me." She seemed at a loss of words. _"This kid never ceases to amaze me."_

"_Yes the jutsu worked I managed to put the seal right otherwise she would have read more stuff about being a hag. Thank you Ero-sennin." _He spoke up. "Well I go clean the monument, did you read that it also says the same thing as the poster."

"Screw it Naruto. I'll get Jiraiya to clean it" she leaned in and gave the bunshin in front a kiss on its forehead.

"Ew. Thanks though, you really are the coolest old lady ever." The bunshin disappeared.

The bunhsin in front of Ino started to speak, "Hey Ino-chan I'll help you go pick some more roses outside of the city." Ino was in awe.

"_He is so nice. Sakura is so lucky. I want to give him atleast a kiss on the cheek."_

Sakura saw this and gave her a look that said 'ok go ahead, but I still got the real deal'

Ino kissed a somewhat startled Naruto on the cheek. He had also seen the look Sakura gave and understood it was ok and thought nothing of it

"Well let's go Ino-chan," the blonde dragged her out of the city by the wrist.

"As for you Sakura-chan, I'm giving you a piggy back to the hospital," he said as he wiped her face of the powder with his sleeve. "Then when your shift is done we are going to get something to eat"

She gave him a soft kiss and said, "One cut this –chan crap, you're off the hook." She got on his back. "Two, we aren't going to Ichiraku's."

"But-" She shot him a glare. He realized he was trying to milk it, so he dropped the case. "Fine."

On the way to the hospital he grinned and silently thought, _"I rock. I'm the king of all pranks. No one can ever defeat me. I talked my way out of three beatings and a cleaning. Damn I should write a book."_

For Naruto the challenge of the prank is what he looks forward too. It's not the challenge of the plan, but the challenge of the excuse, no repeats allowed. It was definitely something only Naruto could pull off.

**A/N. I might make this into like a bunch of stories, but as it is the story stands on its own.**

**Well give me good reviews and I will think about it.**


	2. The Hospital and the Nice Nurse

**Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto. **

**I guess I didn't wait too long to make another short story. Whatever, reviews or not, I think I'll do it. **

**Kyuubi Talking**

_Thoughts_

_**Inner Sakura**_

"Regular talking"

* * *

The Hospital and Nice Nurse

Naruto didn't mind the hospital. He could eat free food, be pampered, and relax for at least a day. He didn't even mind the feel of the hospital, whether it was the dry air or the somewhat uncomfortable bed.

However, he loved the fact that he could wake up to the smell of Cherry Blossoms, and a blur of pink.

* * *

Today, he was in because of a stupid mission with his genin team. They tried, but it was still frustrating for Naruto who was so strong. He probably would have come out without a scratch if it wasn't for them. 

Naruto was waking up to see his girlfriend standing looking at his chart. _"Damn she's so hot when she's thinking hard."_

"Hey Sakura," Naruto said slightly groggy "wat'cha doing?"

"I'm looking at your chart Naruto. Now shut up and go back to sleep, rest you need it."

"I'm fine, but why are you always so mean in the hospital? You are so much nicer outside."

"What do you mean 'I'm mean'?" she had an irritated look on her face, and her hands on her hips.

"I-I'm just saying you could be a little more polite like 'please rest' instead of being so cold about it. Plus, you always give me an injection and they hurt"

"_What the hell this is the kid who took kunai for me. I'll never get you Naruto. I guess I shouldn't tell him I could give him pills, but I choose a syringe, because I like to scare him."_ She smiled for a second, but then again glared at him.

"Naruto don't tell me how to do my jo-"

"You should act like the nurse, doctor in your case, in this one movie I am watching at home. She was nice and was touching his face all friendly and stuff. Her clothes were different though…"

"_What movie is he talking about, it doesn't sound familiar?"_

"Yeah, Ero-sennin and Kakashi said it was a really good movie. They told me to watch it when you were not around. Something about it being only 'in a man's taste.' So I think it's a horror movie, because I know you hate those and I always have to watch them alone."

"_**Fuck no. Those old, dirty perverts they gave him one of those movies."**_

"_Didn't he notice when she took off her clothes that something was wrong."_

"I didn't get to finish the movie though, because I was called by Tsunade-baachan. I'll finish it today."

"NO! You will not finish it."

"_Poor kid, he's so naïve, I should tell him it's a porno, but I don't think he could understand why girls do that."_

"**_Yeah, it isn't his fault. It's those to perverts' fault. I can't let them destroy Naruto's innocence."_**

"Hey, how are you feeling Naruto," Tsunade just walked in.

"Tsunade-sama, can I talk to you in private."

"…Yeah sure Sakura ... what is wrong?" She walked out with Sakura.

Naruto, still inside, was confused. _"What the hell is going on out there?"_ He heard Sakura explain something to Tsunade.

"WHAT!! THEY DIDN'T! THEY ARE DEAD!" the two kunoichi ran off. Naruto saw them out his window and jumped out, chasing after them. (He really was feeling fine. He only needed a day.)

* * *

"Hey Kakashi, I'm gonna dedicate the next Icha Icha to you and Tsunade, the number one face and the number one inspiration, respectively," he said with a sly grin on his face. 

"No way! That is so awesome, it is a dream come true, but I think Sakura would kick my ass"

"Whipped…"

"She is Naruto's girl; it is just she hates when I'm perverted. Look at you, Tsunade-sama has you tied around her finger."

"I'm my own man…"

"JIRAIYA YOU PERVERTED SHIT!!!" Tsunade broke down the door.

"_Shit, what the fuck did I do now? Damn"_

"You were saying Jiraiya-sama."

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!!"

"_Shit, Sakura is here too?"_

"What is it Tsunade?" Jiraiya finally spoke up.

"Are you TRYING to CORRUPT Naruto's innocence?" Tsunade boomed.

"Giving him PORNOGRAPHY, you guys are sick!"

"_They are finishing each other's sentences now." _Jiraiya smirked.

"DON"T SMIRK JIRAIYA! I'll kill you for messing with _my_ boy's innocence!"

Naruto was watching this from a safe distance. _"Pornography, that is what it was. Ah shit no wonder they got so pissed."_ He ran back to the hospital, knowing he would have 'visitors.'

"Jiraiya-sama…"

"Yes?"

"RUN!!!"

"OH NO! Nice try Sensei. You two are screwed!"

"_Shit!"_ they both thought.

"Hey Ero-sennin, hey Kakashi-sensei. You know there is an easier way to visit then getting yourself a bed." Naruto joked. "What is wrong sensei?"

Kakashi was bundled over on his bed with a cloud over him. "…She…she … she burned… my book." Naruto wasn't sure, but he swore he saw a tear.

"I know Kakashi it hurts," Jiraiya had also been violated.

"But why?"

"It's…ok." Both looked like they were trying to hold back tears.

"It was a collector's edition, and my first ever Icha Icha…"

"_Maybe they went too far.." _Nauto thought, _"but I'm not the one who is going to complain to Sakura and Obaasan about it."  
_

* * *

**Well there it is. Another little short story, I find them fun. I also like immature Naruto, better than serious Naruto. If he becomes Hokage he better remain immature.**

**Well R&R, I don't think I'll update this soon every time. (1 day is too short of a gap.) I just had this in my mind. It will take me time to think of a new one. I might include Sasuke on the next one, if you want to. It won't be the same whinny Sasuke though, so don't worry. **


	3. Rivalry

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. **

**Ok I actually don't care about my number of reviews and I got so many ideas for upcoming chapters. It just takes some time to write.**

**Ok this one is going to have a lot of language. It is still T for the fact that there is no sexual stuff I guess.**

**This chapter will also include a little more other people, not just Naruto.  
**

* * *

Rivals

Konoha was full of rivalry everywhere one would look. Girls or boys gender didn't matter they were just rivals.

Naruto was walking in the training grounds of Konoha, clearly minding his own business when he heard his name called. Well more or less.

"Oye dobe."(That is right I think we all know who that is.)

"What is it teme?"

"Nothing much…" Frankly, there was nothing much, he just wanted to say hi, but he can't back down that easy. "I just … um … wanted to say… your clothes match." _"What the hell what is up with that?"_

"Are you checking me out?" Naruto was in his ANBU uniform. He wouldn't have too many missions since he was almost Hokage, but when he did he would always get hell, because he got special treatment.

"No, no tha-"

"What are you gay?"

"No, it is-"

"I don't appreciate how you use that Sharingan. It's good you don't have the Byakugan."

"List-" slight anger showing as he was cut off again.

"_Queer Sharingan, for the Straight Shinobi_. Hahaha." Naruto burst out laughing.

"SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY! I'M NOT GAY!"

"You wanna start something."

"Bring it on bitch!"

"You are such a whinny pain in the ass."

"Whinny does 'Saaakuraaa-chaaaan' sound familiar. You are the epitome of annoying."

"At least I didn't go to a rapist to get my job done."

"Yeah you went to a pervert, it isn't too much better"

"YAH HUH!"

"NUH UH!"

"I'm going to kick your ass!"

"Bring it on blondie."

"You want to get personal huh? I'm ANBU and I once was monitoring you. You know what I saw, you sleeping with a teddy bear like a bitch."

"Yeah well at least I don't go crying to Sakura every time I wake up from a bad dream."

"The stupid fox was messing with me. I didn't have to go. I wanted to, because I like when she takes care of me. It is a _political_ move"

"I can't believe you know what politics is."

"I'm going to be the Rokudaime, of course I know. Plus, just putting it out there, I beat your sorry ass and got you to come back."

"I let you win, because I had already killed Itachi, no point in running away then. Plus, I'm the heir of the Uchiha clan."

"Like I give a flying fuck. You are the only one left. Congratulations, want me to kiss your royal ass."

"No, but you can suck my regal dick."

"Probably wouldn't take that long anyways"

"You're quick on your feet Uzumaki."

"And you're quick on your knees."

"Well… you…um…fuck you!" He said clearly out of a comeback.

"You lost again…Uchiha." At that both of them charged, only to be held back by another teammate. Then, they were thrown into a couple trees.

"WHAT the hell are you guys doing?"

"W-we're s-sorry Sakura," said Naruto

"Dobe," said a clearly freaked Sasuke, "let's run."

"Right behind you Teme." They fended her off with the greatest teamwork Sakura had ever seen. They were dodging and blocking for each other. Calling each other to 'look out' at the right time.

"_Well I guess they gust need someone too scare them for them to actually work together. Oh well I'm happy with that job."_ She silently smirked to herself as they managed to run away.

* * *

Sakura was exhausted after a long day at the hospital. She had extracted God knows how many kunai, from God knows where that she could have rivaled Tenten for sheer weapon experience.

"_I just want to go home and get to sleep."_

"_**If I hear Naruto's voice when I get in, I'm going to destroy him"**_

Luckily Naruto had already fallen asleep on her couch. Occasionally, Naruto would stay at Sakura's, because it was closer to the village entrance than his apartment.

"_Aww…he is so cute when he is sleeping."_

Sakura walked into her bed and without changing, fell right into bed. She failed to notice a kunoichi outside grinning so wide she could challenge Naruto. She was staring at Sakura sleeping in her bed. She mumbled something into her microphone.

A figure slowly walked into Sakura's room and made a white poof. It crawled onto Sakura's bed and under her arm.

Suddenly a flash bulb went off, which woke the kunoichi.

"_**EW! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?"**_

Right next to Sakura laid a _pig_. Sakura reacted the only way she could and pushed the pig off her bed and into the wall. Admittedly, she pushed to hard, but once again there was a poof, and the pig was a boy.

The boy was very young, maybe only 9-11 at the most. He seemed similar to a young Naruto. He was extremely frightened when he saw a seething Sakura.

"N-no p-p-please don't b-beat me." He had those same sad pleading eyes as Naruto except his were black.

"I DON'T CARE! You were in my room, lying next to me!"

"I w-was paid t-to d-d-do it." He seemed to be holding back tears.

Sakura knelt down beside the crouching boy. Her voice was now sweet and sympathetic shocking the boy. "Could you tell me who it was that paid you?"

"She told me not to tell."

"_She, _it is a girl. Please tell me her name and why she wanted the picture." Sakura already had a good idea.

"It was Ino-chan, she told me it was for ler…lev…um leverage I think she called it."

"That DIRTY little bi-" her tone now more frightening.

"What is going on Sakura? Who is this little kid?"

"Don't worry about it, Ino just played a little prank. Naruto, take this ki-"

"OH MY GOD, you are Naruto Uzumaki, you are like my idol."

"Take this kid ho-"

"Not now Sakura," his eyes were bright and he was leaning towards the kid with stars in his eyes, "I'll take him back." He did take him back.

…………………………………………..

Naruto woke up the next day a picture in his face of Ino with a dog next to her drooling on her face.

Sakura had her fingers in a victory sign and said, "I am now even with Ms. Piggy. I put a sleep jutsu on her; asked Kakashi for one of his dogs and let it drool on her face." She had a scary look on her face.

"_God I hope this doesn't escalate, because it is going to be on my ass if it does."_

In a way Sakura and Ino were like Sasuke and Naruto, except they had a feminine relation while the boys' was manlier. They would bicker and argue, but they would always be there for their friend

* * *

"KAKASHI MY RIVAL OF ETERNAL YOUTH, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A COMPETITION! YOU PICK!" 

"_Must this guy always yell? I'm starting to think his mother fed him a megaphone when he was a baby."_ Kakashi still hadn't looked up from his book.

"SO WHAT WILL IT BE? ANSWER WHILE WE ARE STILL IN THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!"

"_I know, I got the perfect idea."_

"Your challenge is to never challenge me again," Kakashi said lazily.

Gai thought long and hard about this._ "My hip rival is truly cunning and worthy. It seems you have bested me once again."_

"Kakashi," shocked at the volume of his voice Kakashi looked up, "it seems you have bested me again. This makes the score even 52-52"

"Hmm…"

"YOU AND YOUR COOL HIP RESPONSES ARE TRULY WORTHY IN A RIVALRY."

"_Great I guess the megaphone batteries must be faulty and momentarily short circuited." _Kakashi smiled.

"I WILL TRAIN 1000 TIMES HARDER AND NEXT TIME YOU WILL FALL! GOOBYE TILL WE MEET AGAIN IN OUR YOUTFUL DAYS!"

"_Shit! I'm late again, my genins are going to kill me. In fact this is why I'm always late. I always have to make up excuses and blame my precious books, even though it is that bumbling idiots fault. Although it is kind of funny messing with him and he is a good friend." _Kakashi smirked under his mask.

It seemed at a quick glance people didn't like each other. However at the end of the day their rivals were still their best friends.

* * *

**Okay I updated. The person who wanted NarutoxIno, I can give you a little, but this is still a NarutoxSakura. I will incorporate some though so don't fret. I personally didn't want the Sakura-Ino rivalry, but I can't talk about rivalry and not include them.**

** I actually made the Sasuke-Naruto part longer, It was pretty short. If you've noticed I spent more time on dialogue in this chapter, because I didn't think a real explanation was necessary of every single detail.**

** I don't like this chapter as much, but I felt I had to get Sasuke in.  
**


	4. Teh Alcohol

**Not much to say for this chapter. Really no notes or anything so I'm just going to start it. Oh I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

Teh Alcohol

Naruto was not much of a drinker, essentially, because the purpose of drinking was to get drunk and have fun. Unfortunately, he just had too much god damn stamina for his own good; the alcohol affected him about as much as Ramen broth.

With that being said, Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Tsunade had done the impossible. They got him drunk. It took about 12 full size sake bottles and a fairly large amount of the green, but it was done. Apparently, they told Naruto it was some sort of initiation to become Hokage. He assumed they told the truth, because Tsunade always drank and he didn't really ask Sandaime about it.

"_So…I guess…um…I'm finally…drunk. Well when does it get fun?"_

"So brat, how does it feel?" Tsunade asked Naruto. Her motherly instincts seemed to disappear and her face was flushed.

"It isn't too…bad. I…um…feel somewhat…nauseous, and I kind of see stuff…uh… blurry. Other than that…I just want to pee…" He didn't get it. _"This is it?"_

"Just wait kid." Jiraiya spoke out from his corner. He was jotting some words down on his scroll. Probably notes for his next book.

20 MINUTES LATER

"YOU GUYS…hic…ARE LIKE…THE BEST," Naruto's voice was unintentionally loud and completely slurred.

"Stop it, but…yea you know it," Kakashi said with a blush on his face.

"HEY! HEY! HEY BaaChaan! Hey Baachaan! BaaChaa? Baachaan! Hey! BAACHAAN! Hey! Hey! HEY BAA-"

"WHAT IS IT NARUTO!?!?"

"Hi," Naruto started giggling at his apparent prank to piss of Tsunade.

"That is it…?"

"Oh…and…um…you got BIG boobs."

Tsunade's face that normally went red with fury when such comments were said, now remained normal. That is not to say she didn't try to punch him. She missed of course.

"I know huh I just love them," she continued after she missed the blonde's head. She now was cupping them and moving them.

Jiraiya, well…, he fell of his chair from the sheer force of the blood coming out of his nose. "Hehehehe," Jiraiya perversely laughed.

10 MINUTES LATER

Naruto was on the floor incapacitate, laughing at something that had been said 10 minutes ago. Everyone else was also laughing. Kakashi left saying something about wanting to rest.

"Hey brat I think it is time we go home," Tsunade's motherly look was back as she was thinking about how Sakura would be worried.

"Aww…"

"Kid it is a mark of a true drinker, 'always know when to go home', and don't get caught in public trying to grope young women." Jiraiya mumbled the last part under his breath.

"I'm gonna kick your ass tomorrow…" Jiraiya shuddered. Tsunade saw Ino walk by from her shift at the hospital and said, "Hey Ino can you take Naruto to Sakura's home. I know it is on the way."

"Ok, Tsunade-sama." She looked at Naruto and said, "Is he drunk and can he even walk."

"Yes and No, respectively."

"Ok Naruto, let's go." She lifted him up and let him use her back for support. She had started blushing, because his hand accidentally touched her breast. His feet still touched the floor because he was taller, and he used them to walk so not all the load was on Ino. They left the bar and Tsunade was alone with Jiraiya

"Hey you wanna do some-oomph"

He couldn't finish his sentence on account of the fist that slammed into his mouth at top speeds, sending him flying out the door. Tsunade then stormed out mumbling something along the lines of 'he's gonna get it twice as hard.'

Meanwhile Naruto was walking to Sakura's apartment. He was spewing some sort of nonsensical crap.

"Hey Ino-chan, you know what I want?"

"No Naruto-kun I don't know what you want. Want to tell me though?"

"Yeah!" His smile and eyes grew large and bright, "I want…a fox…no…scratch that…I want a lot of foxes…and I'd buy a field and then you know what? I'd let them play all day." During his rant he was using large completely unnecessary hand movements.

"Well Naruto-kun that is quite the dream you have," she was now smiling and blushing at Naruto. She couldn't hide it she thought he was _cute._

"_Sakura is so lucky, man if she ever lets Naruto loose I'm gonna scoop him up."_

"Hey…Ino-chan."

"Hmm?"

"Thanks, I know you didn't have to walk me home. I'm glad I have a friend like you." He said this without the normal slur, and it was slightly more quiet.

"You're just drunk," she said blushing.

"I resent tha- hic- fine maybe just a little, but it isn't that…bad."

"Please, you are so drunk it is hilarious." She was getting quite amused by this.

"Nuh uh." His arms were flailing about again. "I am so sober, right know."

"Yeah right whatever," she was just giggling at the boy's antics. _"I love how he didn't grow up too much."_

"Inooo-chaaaan," he had reverted to his whinny voice.

They finally reached Sakura's house and Ino helped Naruto up the stairs, and let him go. Naruto now held the door for support. He then leaned over and gave Ino a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, Ino," he said flashing his grin.

She stood there holding her cheek, "No problem."

She knocked on the door and Sakura opened it. Naruto fell down, because his loss of support and went tumbling right into her arms. She caught him by the insides of his elbows as hid head was near her waist. Sakura looked pretty upset.

"Hey Forehead, Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama, and Kakashi-sensei got Naruto drunk somehow." She had a look of appreciation on her face.

"Yeah Tsunade-sama didn't tell me they were taking him drinking. Anyways thanks Ino for bringing Naruto." She looked down angrily at Naruto, "DO you have something to say?"

"What? Oh right. Thanks Ino-chan," he said mustering up enough strength to give her a half-assed hug.

"No problem." She laughed at how much trouble he had standing straight. She then left, walking down the stairs quietly smiling.

Sakura walked inside supporting Naruto. They both plopped down on the same couch. Sakura laid her head on one armrest and Naruto on the other.

She put her forearm on her forehead and let out a sigh. "Naruto why didn't you tell me you were going to be out so late, drinking." Her voice wasn't angry, it just seemed tired.

"I don't know, I didn't think you'd mind."

"I don't mind, but you had me so god damn worried." The volume of her voice grew and she sounded upset. Her eyebrows furrowed making Naruto completely aware he had hurt her.

"Aww c'mon Sakura don't be mad at me."

"Hmph" She turned her head and frowned on purpose, so Naruto would understand.

"I (sniff) cant have you (sniff) pissed at me (sniff)." She felt her leg dampen ever so slightly.

"_Must be the alcohol that is making him so emotional."_

The crying stopped as suddenly as it started. "C'mon at least smile, you don't have to talk to me."

No reply

"C'mon where is that smile I fell in love with. You know the smile made you cuter. The angry face makes you look sexy, but personally I like it when you smile."

Her face was still maintaining an angry look. He then leaned in closer and turned her head to face him.

"Smile, like this," he had a goofy looking grin on his face. She bit her lip and tried not to laugh as hard as she could.

"Did I tell you about my dream about the foxes?" His face lit up with the ferocity of a thousand suns and his eyes widened to reveal the full size of the lakes he hid under his eyelids. He then began to explain the fox dream with all the necessary movements he had used with Ino.

She still didn't budge.

"_Wow this woman is crazy, she doesn't budge. Well at least her eyebrows aren't furrowed."_

"**You said that right Brat, she is as tough as nails. Why is she with a wimp like you?"**

"_What the fuck? Kyuubi, will you just shut up! I will make her smile and when I do you can just suck it."_

"**Kid I don't actually have a body."_ "Why are they making this stupid kid Hokage. It insults the guy who put me here."_**

"Smmmiiiiillle," he said with his index fingertips on the corners of her lips, pushing outwards.

She tightened her muscles as hard as she could, but she couldn't help it. She cracked out a little smile. Though it was small it was enough for Naruto. He had won again. She just couldn't resist his boyish charm.

"There she is. Now c'mon was that so hard." He wrapped his arms her around her neck and gave her a big kiss on her cheek. Unfortunately this was one of those toddler kisses that have the added sound.

"Yes," she said pouting rubbing her cheek of the saliva. He didn't respond and when she looked at him he had fallen asleep. His head was rested on hers and his arm was around her neck.

"Naruto, I'm not your teddy bear." She tried to nudge him awake, but he wouldn't budge. "Fine, whatever I just wish we were on my bead, I hate this couch."

"Ok Sakura." He picked her up, somehow overcoming his dizziness, and carried her to her bed. Then he went to sleep again in the same position as the couch. "Sakura, it isn't too bad getting drunk. Sheez I don't know why you're always complaining."

"You will see Naruto." She silently smiled to herself.

8 HOURS LATER

"OW SON OF A BITCH MY FUCKING HEAD IS KILLING ME. SAKURA DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE SO MUCH NOISE CLEANING THE DISHES! GOD DAMNIT KYUUBI WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP TOO. JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE IN THERE DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T HEAR YOU! NOW HEAL ME!" Naruto was screaming in pain. (I guess he didn't figure out that he screaming adds to the headache.)

Alcohol made Naruto act even more childish; to the point where he was almost a child himself. He would start talking to Sakura like she was his mom. She didn't mind she thought it was cute.

However, when Naruto got a hangover, especially his first, all Sakura could do was laugh. She didn't feel like helping the boy who made her into a human stuffed animal.

* * *

**Ok new chapter. I did have some NarutoxIno, but as far as I'm concerned that is it. I like that couple, but not in this story. I'm not here to make a long drama series. I avoid those and make funny stories. They will only be good friends and nothing more. Well Read and Review and all that stuff.**


	5. That Time of Month

**Ok so new chapter time. I'm getting reviews, saying these are funny. If you have a suggestion I can think about it. I might write about it too. So keep that in mind.**

**I don't own Naruto.**

That Time of Month

Every girl hated that time of month, and every boy couldn't understand it. It was just one of those things the opposite sex just assumed sucked. Guys had their overly sensitive region which could make the most powerful man cry with the proper force. Girls don't get it. If they did they wouldn't kick boys there. Luckily, for a boy getting kicked in the groin was possibly preventable and not nearly as frequent.

Each sex also feels they have it the worse. _Well boys couldn't take blood coming out of their genitalia. Well girls can't understand the five minutes of shooting pain that lingers for an extra ten minutes._

Sometimes the boy would blame her sudden anger on 'that time of month.' Of course the girl would get pissed and knee him in the groin. Thus, starting the cycle of who has it worse.

However, most sane members of the opposite sex understood to stay away from the victim during that period. (No pun intended). Unless of course, you are Konoha's number one most unpredictable _and dense _ninja.

"_Aww shit not again. Man I hate it when this happens. Blood coming from my-ew. I'm a medic and I still can't comprehend that. Couldn't boys be the ones to get pregnant?" _Sakura silently thought to herself.

"**_CHA! I hate this moment so much!_" **It seemed at this time Inner Sakura was at her most powerful. Figures, it is the moment when Sakura is at her most emotional state.

"_Would you shut up?! It is bad enough I have to wake up at like five a.m. and do this while Naruto is fast asleep on his bed at his house. Man I envy him and all other men everywhere, they don't understand. Then to top off the ice cream of crap that is this morning I have to hear your shenanigans."_

"_**Whatever, you're late for work anyways."**_

"_They should have like three days a month where you can just not come to work."_

"_**Well they don't, now go."**_

"Alright, I guess I got to go." Sakura left her house with that statement, dreading the day ahead.

She was interning today and would have to pull a 36 hour shift. Oh how she would dread to be the one to piss her off today. Whatever sap even ticked her off would get a mouthful so large and aggressive that a lion would cower in fear.

She could still remember her first time, ever. She was around twelve or thirteen, still madly in love with Sasuke. She didn't even understand fully what to do. The only adult around was Kakashi…

_Flashback_

"_Hey Sakura-chan are you ready to leave? I want to get back home and get some Ichiraku's Ramen."_

"_NO! Would you shut up Naruto I'm busy," she yelled from inside her room._

"_Oh ok, come down when you are done."_

_Moments later she came down to the lobby with a weird look on her face. Everyone was staring at her._

"_Kakashi-sensei I need to use the bathroom, I'm bleeding."_

"_You were just in your room Sakura you should have went to the bathroom in there," Sasuke said with no expression at all._

"_Yeah, but I just found out on the way down," she lied._

"_How bad is it? Can I see it too make sure nothing is wrong?" Kakashi asked not looking up from his book._

"_NO! I…I mean no, no you can't. Can't I just go to the bathroom? It'll only take like five minutes."_

"_Sakura we don't really have time for that. We are late as it is, and we got to get back to Konoha." Kakashi replied lazily not taking his eyes off his book._

"_Just let Kakashi-sensei see it. It could be a poisoned cut; that may be why it is still bleeding after yesterday's fight," said a concerned Naruto._

"_I…I can't"_

"_Just rub some dirt on it, it will stop the bleeding."_

"_No, I can't do that," she shook her head._

"_Well what about a band-aid?"_

_Again she shook her head_

"_Gauze?"_

"_No…um…I…can't do that." She was now blushing profusely._

"_What the hell she is blushing? Why? She isn't making contact with Sasuke and there isn't anything embarrassing about a cut or blee- OH MY GOODNESS" Kakashi figured out what she meant in his head. His eyes looked up and widened._

"_Well…uh…Sakura go right ahead." She looked at him in appreciation, but she still didn't know what to do._

"_Kakashi-sensei we're going to be late though, and Jiji-san won't like it." Naruto stated._

"_Shut up Naruto, he will understand."_

_The female concierge overheard the whole thing and came up to Sakura and grabbed her wrist. She was concerned because it looked like Sakura's first and she had to help her._

"_You said you needed to go to that bathroom. Here let me unlock it for you and make sure there is soap and stuff."_

_Both Sakura and Kakashi shot her a look of appreciation. Kakashi sighed and wiped the sweat under his forehead protector._

_End Flashback_

That was her first time. In the Hidden Village of Snow. It was the least to say freaking freezing.

Twelve hours after her 36 hour shift she was still asleep on her couch. (That is two days for you math wises. :p) She couldn't move she was tired and she felt like crap.

Of course someone was bound to disturb her. She heard the knocking at the door and felt like ripping the person's head off. How dare they disturb her.

It was Naruto at the door. He wanted to come inside, apparently something about a surprise.

"Come in," her voice called out even though it was muffled by the pillows.

She sat up groggy as Naruto came in loud as ever.

"Hey Sakura!" He saw her ruffled hair and yawning make-up free face. "You don't look so good."

"Well duh dumbass, of course I don't, I had a 36 hour shift at the hospital," she said pissed off.

"Yeah twelve hours ago…" he mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Uzumaki.

"Nothing, I'm just saying you had plenty of time to freshen up, my cute Cherry Blossom," he said romantically pinching her cheek playfully.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME! I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO LOOK PRETTY FOR YOU!" She slapped his hand away and was staring him down.

Naruto cowered back into a corner holding his throbbing hand, and stared at her like a puppy would had just been hit.

"S-sorry I just di-didn't want to see you like that. Well I'll be…um…going. I need to get groceries anyways. I just came to check up on you. So, how many gallons of milk will you be needing?" he said with a sly grin on his face.

Her eyes went wide with realization; he knew. "GET THE FUCK OUT." She threw the slipper that was on the floor at him, but it was too late he had already jumped out of the window.

"_So, he figured it out this time. I guess he isn't as dumb as I thought. I'm still going to kick his ass."_

_How many gallons of milk will you be needing?_

That statement was essentially the comment most girls don't want to hear. It was the 'is it that time of month again?' comment. However, he did figure it out and promptly left realizing she needed time. Maybe there is still hope for Naruto's maturity yet.

**Okay if you guys didn't get how Sakura figured out he knew, YOU SUCK. No I'm just kidding. Approximately a year or two ago, I saw a 'Got Milk' commercial where it said that drinking milk helps PMS. So when he says how many it shows he knows.**

**Well rest and review. I personally like this as one of my favorite. **


	6. So Sick

**I don't mean to be a review whore here, but I will. I love reviews. So, please review if you read it.**

**I don't own Naruto. **

**Kyuubi Talking**

_Thoughts_

_**Inner Sakura**_

"Regular talking"

* * *

So Sick

It didn't happen often, because the Kyuubi has always been there. Sometimes, though, the Kyuubi would let it slide and be lazy for a few days. It wasn't like Naruto was in any danger. It was sometimes punishment.

Now Naruto has been stuck with kunai, burnt with a good katon, knocked out, suffered chakra loss, and even beaten within an inch of his life. However, the hell that was being sick shadowed all the other.

It was one of those nights. It was hot, but if you took off your blanket you'd feel cold. With it on, you'd feel hot. So, Sakura had a genius idea; open the window and put on her blanket. What could possibly go wrong?

Sakura, however, forgot a certain Blonde haired shinobi sleeping on _his _own couch. She took over _his_ bed and didn't let him sleep in it.

She walked out in the middle of the night for a cup of water to see Naruto with his hand between his knees for warmth. He was glistening with a thin layer of sweat on his body. He was shivering and his teeth were chattering. She felt a cool draft coming from the room she was just in. He had fallen asleep first and didn't need a blanket at the time, but Sakura opened the window in Naruto's room, chilling the room Naruto was in.

She gasped and ran over to his side, putting her hand on his forehead. He was burning up!

"_Shit! This is all my fault. Oh poor Naruto. I can't believe I forgot about him when I opened the window."_

"**_Yeah, good job. Some medic-nin you are! You can't even take care of your boyfriend, or consider his comfort. Maybe you don't care." _**Inner Sakura yelled from inside Sakura's head.

"_Shut up, I do care about Naruto." _She was gently rubbing his cheek. She woke him up and he slowly got up.

"Hey Naruto," she had a soft smile on her face that went perfectly with her gentle look.

"Sakura, what are you doing here at this hour?" He was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and saw the clock that read 3:00 a.m.

"How are you feeling?" Her face was concerned when she asked.

"Well…my head hurts, as well as my body, and I feel kind of cold." He was massaging his eye sockets. "My throat is also kind of sore. I think I'm sick Sakura."

"Aw my poor baby." She was stroking his hair, guilty because it was her request that he was sick. She knew bacteria causes sickness, but somehow even doctors blamed the cold. "I'll take care of you."

"It's ok Sakura, you can go to sleep, and all I want is some water." Frankly, he was tired and all he wanted was water.

"No, I'm helping you and that's final. Now let me go get you some medicine." She went into Naruto's kitchen and took a look through his sorry excuse of a medicine cabinet. "You need to stock up on your medicine, even if you rarely get sick." She came out with a purple medicine in her hands.

"Ew, not that one it is gross. It doesn't even taste like grape. It taste all bitter and well…like medicine. Isn't there any of that bubble gum flavored one." (A/N He is talking about Amoxicillin)

"Naruto that is an antibiotic and you don't need that now."

"Well can't you like heal me or something. Do I have to take _that _medicine? It tastes all gross."

"It can't be that bad, I mean _Ramen _is your favorite food, this shouldn't be too bad"

He gasped noticeably loud. "How dare you compare?"

"_It is just medicine, why is he doing this?"_

Sakura heaved a large sigh. "Naruto, please just take the medicine. We have no other options. Medic-nins can't do much against viruses. We have to leave that up to your immune system." She poured the syrup in a teaspoon and offered it to Naruto's mouth. "Here now take this."

"No, I don't want to." He turned his head and tightened his lips as hard as he could.

"_Fine you want to play that game."_

"Pleeeaaase, for me. If you don't I'm going to take it personal and cry." She pouted trying to make the cutest face possible, making sure Naruto could see it.

The hold on his lips softened, but he still adamantly, shook his head.

"Well, if you aren't going to do this for me, it obviously means you don't love me." She sniffed making it seem like she was going to cry.

Naruto jumped out, caught the spoon in his mouth, and pulled back, instantly. Sakura giggled at the cringing expression on his face.

"There that wasn't so bad," she said kissing his forehead. "C'mon let's go to sleep, I don't want to stay up all night. Plus, you need your rest."

"Okay goodnight Sakura," Naruto said, not getting at what Sakura was implying, laid back down on his couch.

"No silly, you're coming with me, so I can keep an eye on you." She dragged him by his arm into his room. He immediately fell asleep and so did Sakura. She frequently woke up at night to check up on him.

* * *

He woke up late the next morning. Sakura had a day off, and decided to stay home, obviously to take care of the sick blonde. Naruto, however, had a mission that day.

"Crap, Sakura it is noon. I had a mission today, why didn't you wake me up." He was freaking out and jumped off his bed, only to feel a massive pain in his head. (A/N does that happen to you when you are sick, your head hurts REAL bad when you stand up to fast.) He fell back down on his bed.

"Naruto, I called Tsunade-sama, and told her you won't be coming, because you are sick."

"I have done missions when I was sick before, she is going to be pissed."

"She said it was ok. She told me you haven't taken a sick day in a year. Plus, everyone knows that your body uses up most of your chakra to fight disease."

"Fine then what am I supposed to do ALL day?"

"Rest." She answered so simply like it was an easy feat. How could one possibly rest all day? It's not even possible.

"WHAT? Are you kidding? I can't spend all day in hear and rest at the same time. I already slept for 12 hours, how can I sleep more?"

She giggled at his reaction. "Well maybe if you cooperate I will let you go out, and that is an order."

BEFORE BED

"_Man why is Naruto acting all pissed off. He hasn't really talked since dinner. Maybe he found out I got him sick. Shoot, I knew I shouldn't have told Ino."_

"Hey Naruto why are you mad at me?" She was hoping he didn't say what she didn't want to hear.

"Yes." they were laying down on the couch watching TV.

_Damn, I think he knows._

"What did I do wrong?" Tears started forming at her eyes. "I'm sorry, I …tried taking care…of you the best…I could." She was holding back her tears.

Naruto was now embracing her and she was sobbing into his chest, "You did Sakura, really. I don't even think if my mother was alive she could have treated me better." Sakura's face brightened up. "I don't know why you are crying, or why you are sorry? I just didn't want to eat soup. I only like one kind of soup, and it's broth; Ramen broth. That is why I was mad."

"Oh, that's it," Sakura was blushing out of embarrassment.

"What did you think it was?"

Her expression changed to that of panic. "Oh…um…I thought…it was…um… because… because…Igotyousick. I left the window open all night. I feel so guilty."

He burst out in laughter, "That's it? That is why you thought I was mad? Sakura I know you know viruses cause colds." She looked at him puzzled, and he stuck his tongue out. "I've read one of your medical books before. I only learned like that one thing. Even if you did get me sick I wouldn't mind. I feel safe in your care."

"Thank y-achoo. Baka, did you get me sick! I actually do mind!"

He pulled her into her hug, "Yeah well don't worry about it, tomorrow I'll take care of you instead."

"_Man, I guess I'm having ramen tomorrow."_

* * *

**I know Sakura might seem slightly a baby in this. She cares deeply for Naruto and feels really guilty about getting him sick. **

**She might seem motherly, but you remember when Sai said she was really gentle with Naruto. Well PLEASE review I love them. If you guys have ideas please feel free to share I can make them happen.  
**


	7. Doomsday

**Last chapter was intended to be more cute than funny. Also, this fic isn't only about pranks. It is about Naruto just generally being immature. **

**This is an April Fool's Day special thing. It might be slightly confusing, because there will be many pranks going on. If you see a line it means it's time for a new prank. During the prank I might show flashbacks to explain the set up of said prank. **

**Kyuubi Talking**

_Thoughts_

_**Inner Sakura**_

"Regular talking"

* * *

Doomsday

It was March 30 and Naruto woke up excited. Sakura was at her house that night, so it was possible for him to literally jump out of bed. He ran down stairs grabbed a breakfast bar and ran out of his house.

He was running through town eating his bar in disdain. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't ramen. He was looking for one specific person. He spotted him, brooding, near said person's home.

"Oi Teme you know what the date is tomorrow." In all honesty, he had no clue. Ever since his probation ended a week prior he stopped keeping track of the calendar. It really suited no purpose, unless it was for a mission. He still didn't get too many, because he had to recover his reputation from that of 'traitor'.

"April 1st. Why do you ask?" Naruto's mouth fell agape.

_How could he not remember, that ass?_

"It is April Fool's Day, and you know what that means. Now that you're off probation you are going to help me. Now let's go we need to start planning and recruiting right away."

"Wait up a second. I never agreed. Whatever, I guess I will. I've got nothing else better to do anyways." He watched Naruto's face light up for a second and then go back to one of anger.

"We got to make this one that the villagers will never ever forget and we will need all the help we can get. I'm thinking Shikamaru, Kiba, Chouji, Sai, and Konohamaru will be the assailants."

"Sure whatever dobe. Let's go."

Xx Shikamaru's Apartment xX

"Hey lazy-ass open the door now! I need to talk to you." The door swung open and Naruto almost fell over.

"WHAT IS IT? Damn you are so loud. This is so troublesome." Shikamaru was in his Jounin outfit. He was offered a job in ANBU, but rejected it, because it was too troublesome.

"The dobe is here to tell you that we need you to pull off the ultimate prank ever."

"No it is too troublesome." Sasuke gave up easy in these matters and decided to walk away shrugging his shoulders.

"Wait up! If you don't help us, I'll tell a certain blonde sand ninja what happened the Christmas before the last. Let's just say it involves another blonde ninja."

It happened at a Christmas party almost a year-and-a-half prior. Shikamaru was caught with a lampshade on his head, in the closet hugging Ino. His shirt was ripped and the lampshade had a burn mark from the cigarette he was smoking. Naruto was first on the scene and took a picture as humiliating evidence. Luckily, Temari was in Suna when it happened, otherwise all hell would break loose.

"OK! Ok! I'll help you guys."

"Is Chouji in there too?" Shikamaru and Chouji were roommates, because they were just promoted to Jounin and didn't have enough experience to be paid extremely well.

"Yeah I'm here." Chouji came from the living room. He was more muscular, but still slightly chubby. He was chubby to perform his clan jutsus.

"Ok let's go get everyone else. Kiba, Konohamaru, and Sai should be returning from a mission."

Xx Front Gates xX

"Oi Kiba, Konohamaru, Sai will you help us with our pranks tomorrow."

In unison they said, "Yeah sure why not."

"That's it. That was surprisingly easy dobe." Sasuke was shocked; he couldn't believe the pranks were going to happen.

"Yeah it was. Now let's get out of here we need to discuss some things."

Xx In Secret xX

"Ok Naruto what is the plan?" Kiba was the most impatient in the entire group.

"Well see I'm not exactly sure, we all need to decide something soon." He had his hand on his chin and his eyes were closed.

"Well boss who are we going to prank?" Konohamaru was now much taller and a chuunin. He had advanced the Sexy Jutsu farther than even Naruto could.

"Well everyone we know. We just need to know where everyone is going to be and what they are doing."

Shikamaru lazily replied, "The three girls from the rookie nine, Temari, and Tenten, are all having a girls day out tomorrow."

"Ero-sennin must be 'researching' and Baa-chan will be I her office."

"Iruka is going to be at the academy grading papers boss."

"Dobe, Kakashi is going to the memorial of course. Kurenai is going to be at home with her child. Shizune will be with Hokage. Gai and Rock Lee will be training. Oh… and Neji is most likely going to be at his house."

"How the fuck do you know all of that, teme?"

"I, unlike you, deserve my ANBU title, dobe"

Shikamaru suddenly spoke up, "Shut up you two, we still need a plan." His mind was whirring from the start.

"Ok everyone we got shit to plan, shit to buy, and shit to prepare, so let's hurry!"

* * *

"OH HO HO. My, my, what beautiful ladies we have in Konoha." A white haired pervert spoke from his stoop on the roof of the sauna. 

"Oi pervert what the hell are you doing?" He could tell it was none other than Tsunade's voice coming from behind him.

"Nothing, Tsunade, I'm just researching." He didn't bother turning he knew she was pissed and was going to kick his ass. However, the response he got was totally shocking.

"Well Jiraiya-_kuun_ allow me and my friends to help you." She said as sexily as he had ever heard her speak. He whipped around in shock only to fly back as the fountain of blood from his nose launched him away from Tsunade. She was half naked surrounded be steam, and _two _other _half-naked ladies._ He rubbed his eyes and looked again.

_Oh my god, they are still there. Heh heh _

"Do you want our help or not?" One of the girls behind Tsunade cutely asked Jiraiya. She haid black hair and black eyes and was staring so intently it made Jiraiya weak.

"S-sure, I mean, sure I will!"_ It must be my birthday, or I'm dead._

"What would you like us to do? Or do to us?" The other girl said while biting her lip.

"Would you like to touch my breasts Jiraiya-kun?" Tsunade said.

"YES! I mean... yes, I would like that. It would most certainly help." One of the girls giggled. He neared Tsunade wiggling his fingers at her chest level. She was now drawing small circles on his chest.

There was another poof, creating more steam. "WHAT THE FUCK? Y-y-y-y-you are that one kid that hangs around Naruto."

"Hey pervert, April Fools." With that Konohamaru ran away, but not before yelling back to Jiraiya. "Hey I didn't know old men like you had testosterone that worked so efficiently without…_medicinal…_help."

"BASTARD!" There Jiraiya stood on top of the roof being stared at by all the women. He was wearing ninja pants, but they felt like sweat pants… "Well hello ladies."

"PERVERT," they yelled and ran away, throwing whatever they could find at him.

Konohamaru was some distance laughing his ass off. _Plan J successful, now onto Plan G.  
_

* * *

"See girls this is what life is all about. No men, no make up, no worries." The girls were at a sauna getting facials…and well…other girls stuff. 

"Seriously Ino, this is so relaxing," Sakura was able to release her tension in saunas.

"SAKURA-NEE-CHAN, COME QUICK! I was… walking on the outskirts… of town and I heard Sasuke and Naruto… scream. It was close… to the sauna by the forest." Konohamaru was panting trying to tell the story. "They might need a medical-nin to help them. Let's go!"

_Oh shit what happened Naruto? Were you attacked?_

She ran behind Konohamaru to the sauna, the other girls following her. "Where are they?"

"Look there they-" Konohamaru was shocked at what he saw.

"OH MY-" Sakura was cut off by Hinata.

"Goodness. That-" She was cut off by Ino

"-is so HOT!" They all saw Naruto and Sasuke naked in the sauna with steam covering all the right places. They looked like they were about to kiss, with that lust in their eye.

"NARUTO UZUMAKI! You dare cheat on me with _HIM_!" She was now totally furious. She was stomping her way towards the couple. She was stopped by Ino.

"Forehead don't mess this up, it is sooo hot." Sakura shot her a glare that immediately made Ino let get of Sakura.

"Let's see everything boys." Temari was also blushing. She pulled out her fan and blew all the steam away from the area. "Oh MY GOD!"

She saw all the boys naked: Shikamaru, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai. Sai was with Shikamaru talking about Shikamaru's penis.

Blood shot out of all the girls' noses as they noticed all of the boys' well toned muscles and lean bodies. They guys managed to get in the water before they saw anything else.

"WHAT KIND OF HOMOEROTIC SHIT IS GOING ON HERE?!" Temari boomed from her point.

"Um…"

"SPIT IT OUT" Sakura joined in. She was shocked though, because they all seemed to poof away. Not to mention Konohamaru was no where in sight. She was also startled by the figure that was suddenly next to her.

"Sakura-chan…" It was _his _voice. It was smooth and gentle. He was hugging her from behind, nuzzling his face in her hair. "April Fools," he said loud enough for all the girls to hear. With that, he disappeared, leaving behind an angry yet blushing Sakura.

_Plan G complete; initiating Plan K.  
_

* * *

Kakashi was ready to go home to his books. God, how he loved them, they never got old, it was as if they updated automatically. He loved his books about as much as Naruto loved Ramen. 

He opened the door to his apartment only to be stopped suddenly. He couldn't move a single muscle in his body, but he was still standing.

The light flipped on and he saw his books, on the floor.

_Oh thank God they are still ok. What is going on?_

With that, his books spontaneously combusted and were engulfed in flame. He had a feeling it may be genjutsu, but it looked so real. Not to mention he couldn't dispel it, because he was bound to his spot.

_No please, no why? Not again. Why? I just bought those. No, no, no, NO! I can't cry. _He started to tear up slightly.

The books started talking, asking 'why would you leave us,' and 'why don't you care'.

_I'm sorry Icha Icha. I can't move._

The genjutsu faded away and he was in his apartment. His shadow connected to another's. He had a tear in his eye.

"April Fools Kakashi," he heard Sasuke's voice.

_Sasuke, Shikamaru those bastards. Oh well at least my books are ok. I'm sorry Paradise, Tactics. I love you guys, I would never leave you._

_Plan K complete, initiating Plan T.  
_

* * *

Tsunade was dozing off in her office. She was so sick of her work. It never ended; the stacks of papers came in one by one. She didn't understand why Naruto wanted the job so badly. 

She woke up thirsty. "Shizune go get me some Sake." It was ironic, because alcohol only makes one thirstier. "Shizune!"

Shizune came in running with a bottle of sake. "Tsunade-sama it is way too early to drink right now." She walked around the room dusting knickknacks. "Focus more on your actual work; we need those papers done by tomorrow."

"I know, I know." She drank the sake straight from the bottle without even using a cup.

After about ten minutes Tsunade's stomach started acting up. She just went to the bathroom five minutes prior, and now she had to go again.

_What the hell is going on? I don't have the symptoms of an upset stomach. I'm also feeling fine. _

Her stomach made a rumbling sound. Shizune overheard and came in the office. "Tsunade-sama is that your stomach that I hear."

"Yeah, I think I have an upset stomach. I don't have the symptoms the so it makes no sense."

"Well Tsunade-sama, what did you eat today?"

"Nothing much for breakfast, I had the sake you gave me." Shizune looked slightly confused.

"I never gave you any sake." Tsunade was also confused so she pulled out the empty bottle.

"Look Shizune I have proof of it right here, you want to see it." She tossed it over to Shizune who caught it.

Shizune examined the bottle carefully and saw a poof go off on the label. Suddenly thick letters appeared on the bottle and the answer to the mystery was evident.

_There were laxatives in this bottle. Super laxative that will work for 3 days. Oh well have fun and like don't blow up the toilet or anything. April Fools. –Naruto. _

Shizune gave Tsunade the bottle and her eyes went wide. She screamed out in fury at the top of her lungs directly into the sky. Near by Naruto heard the scream and realized that Plan T was a success.

_Initiating Plan H  
_

* * *

This was the simplest and most destructive plan. Mess up Konoha at night. 

Sai was to draw a giant bird and fly around town having the bird poop of carts and store windows.

Chouji was to stand on top of the Hokage monument and launch eggs at his acquaintances' homes using his giant arms.

Others would do various things to help out. The hardest hit of all the areas was the Hyuuga residence. It was the epitome of high school vandalizing.

The trees were tp'd, the pavement had peanut butter on it. Neji's window said April Fools on it. They put tiny pieces of newspaper in the grass, wetting it with a suiton jutsu. They put bologna on the house walls. All in all they completely messed up the place. It was all in good fun, because Neji was to be announced clan head in a few years and the guys told him, he would have to go through some sort of hazing.

* * *

"Guys this has to be like the greatest April Fool's Day in the history of the holiday." 

"I must say we caused quite a commotion dobe. You realize if I'm caught I'm going to be in deep shit."

"Teme that is what makes it fun."

Little did Naruto he had scores of people after him. It was the same every year. They would chase down Naruto and he would weasel his way out. He would bring up the fact that it was April Fools Day and his friends would leave him alone. He never messed with the old gas bags.

* * *

**Ok Guys, I feel I rushed that for one. I could have spent more time on each prank, but I wanted to get this out on 4/1/07. Oh well you get the idea. Plus, there were so many pranks that it would have taken forever to elaborate. Also I made Kakashi pretty weird in this chapter. Oh well.**

**I also added something to my profile. (I actually wrote something in there).**


	8. Cookies and Ramen

**Sorry guys I know I haven't updated in forever. I just couldn't get the creativity flowing. I think I got a good idea for this one and well I hope it turns out well. Again sorry about the wait. **

**For all those reviewing, I say thanks.**

**Michiru's Mirror- Thank you, I try to make sure it isn't too OOC.**

**Satyanasi420- I did I guess I forgot to mention she goes there occasionally. She moved in as in the sense she has some stuff there, so she can stay there sometimes. Sorry for the confusion. **

**Thank you to everyone else to. If you ask a question I'll most likely answer it in the next post, since I rarely check my e-mail. **

**I don't own Naruto sadly.**

* * *

Cookies and Ramen

_Damn it I'm freaking starving, and I want some ramen. I can't go to Ichiraku for a week or else Sakura is gonna kill me. What a load of crap, ramen causes blood pressure. Ramen is the food of the gods. _

_**My ass it is. You know what it smells like in here after you have had 10 bowls. It smells like shit, shit and salt. **_

_Can it fox, your lucky I'm not eating asparagus or beans or something._

_**Bitch.**_

_I might have an idea, but I'm gonna have to see a few people first.  
_

* * *

"Sakura!" Naruto yelled out, "Can you please make me some cookies?" He was seriously hungry and he wanted some damn cookies. 

"No, Naruto, I'm busy," she gave a quick abrupt answer.

"Pleeaaasee, Sakura-chan, I'm so hungry and your cookies are delicious." He extended the 'please' and added 'chan' to her name. It usually worked.

"Naruto, don't do this. I don't have time to make you cookies. Plus, it'll kill your appetite." She seemed slightly hesitant in her response. Bad move, considering Naruto can use it against her.

_What the hell she that didn't work. Oh well, she can't last much longer. It's time to pull out the big guns._

He gave her the largest, bluest, and saddest puppy dog eyes in the history of mankind. She always fell for it, and that was exactly what he did now. He had a shinny film covering his iris, daring the waterworks to begin. He quietly asked her, "Pleaasse, with sugar on top."

_Fuck, those damn eyes, every time. I swear they can be more deadly and persuasive than the Sharringan._

"Ok Naruto, Just come before lunch, and get them," she said softly. She watched those eyes disappear as fast as they appeared.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH Sakura-chaaan!"His face lit up ten shades and he embraced her in a bone crushing hug. "You're the greatest." He gave her a kiss and jumped out her window.

_That kid, I swear, is going to be the life of me._

_**Too bad he doesn't use those eyes to get you into bed!**_

'_Too bad,' you pervert._

* * *

At flower shop 

"Hey Ino-chan, can you help me make cookies?" he asked with a smile.

"Um… sure Naruto, but may I ask what the hell for?" She said slightly confuse. It isn't everyday that someone asks you to help them make cookies. Then again, this is Naruto.

"Duh, 'cause I'm starving," he said matter-of-factly. He also had a stupid grin on his face.

"Ok Naruto where is the stuff." He gave her a confused look. "Naruto you need to have certain ingredients to make cookies, like sugar, flour, butter, and chocolate."

"Right, Ino-chan, I guess I forgot. Wait here, I'll go get the ingredients." With that, he left and ran to the store.

_Where the hell am I going to go, this is my shop._

* * *

Hokage Office 

Naruto made a quick pit stop at his favorite baa-chan's office on the way to the store.

"Hey baa-chan, make me some cookies!" He never grew out of that name. Though, he was the only one who was allowed to call her that. Jiraiya tried and needless to say, he almost lost his manhood.

Her brow twitched, "You dare come her a demand I make you cookies! What the hell makes you think I will?"

"You…love me?" he said hoping for the best.

"Nice try kid, I'm gonna need to hear something better than that!" She said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well… I was just… I heard… well-" He seemed to be looking for the right words when he was cut off.

"Out with it brat, I'm very busy!"

"Well, it's just that I heard that grandmas make cookies for their grandchildren and they are really good. At least that's what Sakura and Shikamaru and a couple others told me. Except, I don't have a grandmother so I guess I … was kinda hoping you could be my grandmother for today."

Her expression softened, "Sure Naruto, I guess I can find some time to make you some cookies." She was immediately engulfed in a hug.

"Thank you, granny," he ran out of the office and to the store to get his ingredients.

* * *

To say, Naruto is a bad cook would be a lie. He wasn't all too bad he was just a huge klutz. He finally reached Ino's house with all the ingredients. 

The cookie batter came out fine, though the two looked like they were crack addicts with all the white powder on them.

Flashback

"_Naruto can you bring the cup of flower here?" Ino asked Naruto. He did as he was told, but on the way back he slipped on spilled butter which was also his fault. _

"_Ack," he saved most of the flour, but much of it was on Ino. "Sorry Ino, haha you look like a ghost."_

"_You think this is funny?!" Ino was infuriated, in a playful way. He motioned his forefinger and thumb to signify 'a little.' "I'll show you funny." She reached into the bag of flour, grabbed some, and rubbed it in Naruto's hair. _

"_Oh hell no!" He reached one hand into the sugar and the other spread on the butter. He smeared the butter on her face and threw the sugar on the butter. "There all better." He stuck his tongue out at her playfully. _

"_Naruto! That's it, this is war." She took some of the melted chocolate in her hands and tackled Naruto. She smeared it all over his face._

"_Oh yeah!" He flipped both of them over so he was on top and started tickling her. Of course, like most people who tickle he couldn't stop._

"_Hahaha…ok…Naruto stop… I give haha stop... please… STOP!" She could barely breathe and she couldn't even get out of his grasp. _

"_Say it Ino, I won't stop unless you do." _

"_You win, you win, I give!" He got off and wiped the tears she had from laughing. He then helped her up. "This proves you shouldn't mess with Uzumaki Naruto," he bragged._

_They finished the cookie batter and put it in the oven_

End Flashback

The cookies were finally done but they had to clean up. Unfortunately, there is only one sink in the kitchen, which Naruto felt Ino was selfishly hogging.

"Ino-chan c'mon hurry up. When is it gonna be my turn." No reply. "Forget it." He walked over and hip-bumped her away from the sink. "My turn."

"What the hell, I still need water!"

"Fine, here is some." He cupped his hands gathering water and threw it at Ino. She got some water and then threw it at him, thus starting a water fight. He ended up running out with the cookies while Ino was throwing soggy bread at him. (Don't ask)

* * *

6 hours later at Sakura's house 

_Where the hell is Naruto, it is seven and he was supposed to take me to dinner? _

_**That bastard probably forgot. I'll kick his ass, Shannarro!**_

Sakura went to Ino's house asking her if she had seen Naruto. She said no, but she would help him find him. They went to Tsunade to ask her.

"Shishou, do you know where Naruto is?" She asked Tsunade hoping for the best.

"No, I have no clue. He took the cookies I made and left."

Sakura's ears twitched, "He had you make cookies too. What the hell is that kid up to?"

Ino spoke up, "Forehead, he made cookies with me too." Sakura looked pretty pissed at this point. Well, forehead, let's go find him."

"Yeah find that brat and when you do send him here so I can take care of him," she said punching her open palm.

* * *

At the park 

"Look, Forehead, blonde hair." Ino said pointing to the man sitting on the park bench with his back facing them. Sakura stomped over to him and flicked him in the back of the head. He went tumbling forward, his face in dirt, and his feet hanging over his head. He completed the flip and laid on his back staring up at the sky.

He knew who it was; she was bound to be looking for him. "Hey Sakura-chan."

"Naruto what the hell I've been wait-" She was cut off by a boy no older than five. He was short and had brown hair and brown eyes. He wore red shorts and a black shirt with a leaf insignia.

"Boss, are you okay? Hey guys come here." He called out to the playground. Around twelve kids came up to him and knelt next to him.

"What happened?" a small girls with dark purple hair asked.

"Boss was flicked onto the ground by that girl," the first boy said pointing at Sakura.

"Do you know those girls, boss?" a small girl, no more than three, with blonde hair asked Naruto.

"Yeah, I do. Pinky, Sakura, is my girlfriend and second best doctor at the hospital. Blon-" He was cut of by another boy.

"Hey yeah she is. She is super cool; she healed all my wounds and it didn't even hurt, then she gave me a candy." He was extremely excited.

"I want to be a medic-nin! Who's the other girl?" another girl with dark pink/light red hair asked Naruto with admiration in her eyes.

"Blondie, Ino, is also a medic-nin and part time interrogator."

"Say Boss, they're pretty. Do you think I will grow up to be as pretty as them?" the same blonde girl asked Naruto. Sakura and Ino were blushing from the comment. Naruto sat up and took the girl in his arms.

"Well of course you can. In fact, you'll be prettier and cooler." Her eyes were wide, as she was listening intently to Naruto. "In fact all of you can be as cool as them, but you gotta work super hard." He was rubbing the brown haired boys head.

"I want to be like you nii-chan," the boy under his hand said.

"Same thing applies. Oh and you have to believe yourself."

"Naruto can I talk to you in private?" Sakura said pulling Naruto aside. Ino was playing with the kids who were climbing on top of her. "Who are these kids Naruto? Why did you need all those cookies?"

"These are kids from the orphanage, and I needed the cookies for our picnic."

"Why didn't you tell us that?" Sakura asked anger rising in her voice.

"No one knows that I do this every two weeks. Plus, if you knew Ino will know. Then, everyone will know. Kiba would never let me live it down."

"Why do you do this?"

"Well I used to be in that orphanage, and sometimes people would take the kids out to play with them. No one ever took me out, so I go back every two weeks and take every kid in the orphanage to the park."

She hugged him and said, "That's so sweet Naruto. So, are we still going out?"

He grinned and said, "Of course, we just need to drop of these kids. Can we go to Ichiraku's today?"

_Well, I suppose he earned it. Even if he wouldn't want a reward he deserves one._

_**Yeah, snatch up his adorable ass! You won't even have to worry about when you have kids; he seems to be good with them. Maybe you can get started tonight, Shanarro! **_Sakura began to blush at her inner perverseness.

They dropped off the kids and Naruto told them he would come visit again in two weeks. "Let's go to Ichiraku, honey. Oh Sakura you can come if you want to," he said giving her a stupid smile. Ino began blushing at Naruto's comment, but then started giggling.

"SHANARRO!"(sp?) Sakura then sent Naruto through a wall. She also started laughing at her stupid boyfriend.

_Ow fuck, that hurt. Oh well it's all worth it for my sweet ramen. No one stops me from getting my ramen._

In all truth, no one could stop Naruto from getting his ramen. He convinced Sakura to give him ramen. If anyone can do that it was certainly Naruto. He also understood how to get to a girls heart, her soft weak inner core: chocolate; sweet, corny, chivalrous behavior; and unadulterated cuteness. (I.e. children, teddy bears, the usual)

* * *

**You may be thinking Naruto used orphans to get ramen. Well yeah in a way, but he goes every two weeks to help out anyways. So, it isn't like he started doing it so he could get ramen. **

**Please review, I know it has been awhile and I'm sorry. **

**This specific chapter got me thinking about another story. I was reading other fanfics and some people act like Sakura knows exactly how Naruto was treated as a child. They rarely had any interaction it seems until team 7. What if Naruto was turned into a child again, by another Jinchuuruki (sp?) because that guy knew Naruto's friends didn't know how he was really treated. This way Naruto would have to grow up again under Sakura's care and she would know exactly how he grew up. The first few chapters would be all adorable, cute Chibi Naruto. Then, it would develop into a romance when Naruto grows up.  
**


	9. Scary Movie

**The A/N at the end of the last chapter was meant to be a possible, story. I could write it if enough of you want it. Just clear that up. I tried to reply back, but my e-mail was being gay. **

**I don't think there is any disputing the fact that I don't own Naruto.  
**

* * *

Scary Movie

Every so often the life of a ninja would be considered mundane. This of course was a rarity, though, not an impossibility. Sometimes there would be a drop in the number of requests entering the village and an elite Jounin would get the day off, or maybe the week. Honestly, they didn't know what to do, save missions.

It was days like these where Naruto would stop by Sakura's house with a movie and possibly some food. They would wear their pajamas and cuddle up on the couch, and Naruto would end up spending the night when the movie was over.

"Naruto you brought a horror movie! What the hell? You know I don't like those!" Sakura said. In all honesty, she was terrified of those movies.

"Please Sakura, I heard it was really good, and it doesn't have any monsters or zombies and stuff!" Naruto pleaded.

Usually these movie nights had some cheesy chick flick, in which the handsome, rich guy would fall for the diamond hidden in the rough. It wasn't that Naruto didn't like them; if they made her happy it was good enough. Plus, she would find it cute and want to snuggle up with her man. However, a man sometimes wants to see a man movie; one with gore, violence, war, and language.

"No Naruto, I don't feel like watching it."

"Pleeeaaase Sakra-chan, can we watch it?" Naruto begged her with his eyes more so than his voice.

"Fine Naruto put it in, I'll go make some popcorn and get some gummy bears," she said with great reluctance in her voice.

The movie was, in all respects, different. It had all aspects of a movie you would not want to show a child: language, rape, violence, psychopaths, and death. Apparently, some nut out in the middle of nowhere would walk around with a rusty meat cleaver and kill young women via suffocating with the skin of his prior victim. While he asphyxiated them, he would rape them. After he killed her, he would peel her skit with his meat cleaver, and use the skin for the next victim. (A/N I just died a little inside.)

"N-Naruto s-sleep in the guest room today," she said shakily once the movie was over.

"Why?"

"You brought that movie instead of _Pride and Prejudice_, the movie I actually wanted to see!" (A/N I didn't want to say _The Notebook _because it would be cliché.) She stomped into her room and slammed the door shut. Naruto slowly walked into Sakura's guest bedroom.

* * *

Sakura could not sleep no matter how hard she tried. She did not feel tired, most likely because she sat around all day, and woke up real late. (A/n Don't you hate that?) Her stomach hurt, because every sound she heard, she thought was the killer from the movie. She could have taken him out easy, but fear makes the strongest of men fall flat. 

Occasionally, a strange sound would come from the floor. It was an eerie creaking sound she had never noticed before. _Creak_, it happened again.

_**What the hell was that? Is someone there? Maybe it is just Naruto getting a glass of water.**_

_Five times in less then an hour, I doubt it. He never wakes up at night for anything._

_**Then what are you trying to say, that it is a crook.**_

_No, I'm not, it isn't I'm positive. At least, I think so. B-but what if it is a crook and-_

_**He is going to come in and kill us.**_

Normally, Sakura would have tried to pick up a chakra signal, but fear once again prevented her. Why else did all the sensei tell their students to remain calm.

_Are you saying we run?_

_**What if we run into him?**_

Five minutes past. _Well I don't think it was a killer, he would have come in by now if it was._

_**Yeah, yeah you're right. **_Inner Sakura was still shivering inside.

She began to hear rain drops on her window. Apparently, Konoha was being hit by a surprise storm.

_Fucking great, it is raining._

_**Just like the movie.**_

_Shit_

This continued for at least an hour until Sakura finally fell asleep. Her body finally succumbed to her exhaustion.

* * *

Naruto walked in and collapsed on the bed. He was just processing why Sakura told him to sleep in the guest bed.

_**Denied**_. Naruto could hear the roaring laughter of his tenant.

_Shut up you stupid fox._

_**Tell me something kit, were you born stupid, or did it take years of training?**_

_You should know, seeing as you were in me since the day I was born. _

_**Touché**_

_I don't get it fox, what did I do wrong?_

_**You showed her a scary movie.**_

_It wasn't that scary._

_**For you, maybe not, but for her, that freaked her out. Only some girls like horror movies. Like that one blonde chick with the four pig tails. Your girl friend which I have grown fond of, likes romance, drama, and other chick stuff.**_

_Since when have you been so woman savvy?_

_**Kit, I have lived…a long time, it was bound to happen.**_

_So, why are you helping me?_

_**I don't know. If I got to be in here, I might as well have fun, which has to be done through here. So, it would be in my best interest to get that Cherry Blossom to succumb to you. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to kill you if I ever leave this place.**_

_What should I do?_

_**Give her time; she'll come crawling back to you, because of a bad dream or something. It is your job then to be there for her. Then get her the movie she actually wanted to see.**_

* * *

"_NARUTO!!! Where are you Naruto?" She frantically ran into the kitchen hoping to find her beloved. She ran in and locked the door behind her. She turned around and screamed at what she saw._

"_NARUTO!!" Naruto was in a bloody mess propped against the wall. His blood smeared the floor, and was ink for the message on the wall. It read, 'this is my way of the ninja.'_

_She tried to run toward him, but she couldn't get any closer._

_Suddenly Naruto mutated into the killer, who got up and was getting closer to Sakura, meat cleaver in hand. She tried to form a few seals, for a Katon Jutsu. She could not locate any chakra. _

_The man grabbed her and gagged her mouth. He spun her around so she could witness the killer, which was previously following her, hack at the door. He broke through and stalked his way over to Sakura._

"_You're going to die little girl." Sakura started to cry. He started to put someone else's skin on her head like a swimming cap. She felt his other hand pull down her pants. He pulled the skin over her eyes._

"AHH!" Sakura yelled as she sat up. She was awaked by the thunderous sound of… well thunder. She felt the cold sweat drip down her forehead and lower back. She started shivering and wrapped a comforter around herself.

_**It is okay it was just a dream.**_

_But, it was so real._

The thunder struck again, creating a loud sound. _**Great thunder, also just like the movie.**_

Sakura looked over to her clock; the digital reading read 3:00 A.M.

_**You should crawl into Naruto's strong arms and sleep.**_

"_No, I'm ma-" she was cut off by another bolt, "yeah, that isn't a bad idea."_

* * *

Naruto opened his eyes, to see Sakura come in. He sensed her come in, by her chakra signature. All Elite Jounin/ANBU had to be able to sense chakra in their sleep.

"Hey Sakura-chan, what's up?" he said groggily. He heard her sniffle. "Are you crying?"

"N-no, not r-really, I j-just h-had a bad dream is all. Y-you died and the k-killer was com-coming after me."

He lifted his blanket to invite her in, "It's okay Sakura-chan, here come sleep with me. I'll protect you, and I promise I'm not going anywhere." She crawled into the bed and fit her back snuggly against his chest. He put his arm around her and kissed her temple.

"Thanks Naruto."

"What are you thanking me for, it _is _my fault. Now go to sleep Sakura-chan I'm here so no one is going to get you okay. I promise, the next movie night we have, we'll watch a romantic comedy," he whispered reassuringly in her ear. They both fell asleep, warming themselves with each others heat.

* * *

Sakura woke up the next day in a slightly uncompromising position. She was laying on her back staring at the ceiling, with Naruto draped across her diagonally. One of his hands was absentmindedly tangled in her hair, while the other was in his own. He was also chewing on her collar. She thought it was cute though, so she didn't wake him up.

He eventually woke up, lifted his head, and grinned at her. "Sorry about your collar."

"It's fine, now can I get up."

"Can we lie here just a little while longer?" She honestly didn't want to start the day.

"Sure Naruto." He smiled and once again placed his head in the crook of her neck.

Against her neck he mumbled, "Hey Sakura-chan, I was wondering why you picked me?"

She looked at him quizzically, not understanding what he was trying to ask. "I mean why me and not anyone else? You could have had any guy in this village, basically. Why am I so special?"

"Oh…well that's and easy one. For one my Naru-chan," she heard him make a cute whining noise, "you're cute, like that whine you just did. When you smile it makes you look like a fox with blue eyes. Speaking of foxes you have these adorable whisker marks. Plus, you are sexy. Then there are the more important reasons, like how you care about me and always protect me."

He looked up and gave her a passionate kiss. "I thought it was because I was a good kisser."

"Yes, that is something I look forward to in the morning. What about you, why do you like me?"

"You know I don't have any idea when it happened, but I know I have loved you since well a long time. Like since the academy days. I have no idea why. Maybe it is because you are pretty or the fact that you are nice or maybe it was because you were the first girl to acknowledge me."

"By the way Sakura-chan, I had a kage bunshin go pick up that movie you wanted to see. I sent him out while you were asleep, see," he said pointing to the DVD on the dresser. "Sorry about the movie yesterday." He looked down bashfully.

"_**Oh my god, he is so cute!" squealed Inner Sakura, "Make him yours, now!"**_

"That is really sweet of you Naruto, but can you get up I want to use the bathroom?"

"Nuh-uh, I'm going in first."

"We'll see about that." Sakura tossed Naruto off of her and ran toward her bathroom. A yellow blur managed to beat her to it and slammed the door on her face.

"They don't call me the second coming of the Yellow Flash for nothing" he said opening with his tongue playfully stuck out at her.

* * *

**Okay not much of an ending I know, wasn't really funny either, but I did in my genre put humor/romance so I should have at least one chapter every so often of romance. **

**I'm not insane, I made up the story plot, but it was just an assortment of random scary movies compiled into one.**

**The part with Inner Sakura and Sakura happens around the same time as the part with Kyuubi and Naruto, in the context of the story. **

**Again review, and read the last A/N in chapter 8 and tell me if you think that is a good fanfic idea. **


	10. Surprise!

**I know; I know it has been forever, and I'm sorry. Not much to say otherwise though. I'll start a couple new stories during summer break, so heads up for that. Oh yeah thanks for all the reviews you guys are great.**

**Woo! I reached 10,000 views!**

* * *

Surprise

Konoha during the spring was arguably one of the best times of the year. Hell, it was perfect enough to take a walk through the park at noon. God forbid, anyone walks outside during noon in summer, lest they wish to come back drenched in perspiration. Winter faired no better, with winds that can chill your bones and make one's nads hug aforementioned person's body. Spring, though, was perfect not too hot or not too cold, just like fall.

Unfortunately, it was, in fact, summer.

But of course the number one knuckleheaded ninja, might as well take a stroll through the local park, with his girlfriend, seeing as heat didn't bother a man who wore a jacket to _train._ It was nine o'clock. Besides, it's never too early if you got nothing else better to do.

"You remember the first time we slept together Naruto," asked Sakura, wondering his perspective of the first time they shared the bed.

"Eh?" he exclaimed, shocked. "What are you talking about we haven't slept together yet!" He paused for a moment, "Unless...ahh," he pointed an accusing finger at her, "you did it when I was asleep!"

"Naru-"

"Oh my god! My girlfriends a lech'; she's a perv! I can't believe it, and I can always believe it!"(Couldn't resist) Naruto cried hysterically.

"Naru-"

"You didn't conceive did y- wait a minute that means you undres-"

"BAKA! I am NOT pregnant, because I did NOT have sex with you!" she said, fuming over his stupidity.

"But you sa-"

"I meant the first time we shared a bed you idiot, now come on you already caused a scene!" she started dragging him to a bench in the park where no one heard his idiocy.

He looked around and noticed the strange stares people were giving them. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to be yelling about your non-existent sex-life.

"Oh," he said, realization of what she said dawning, "yeah I remember. I was so nervous. I thought you were kidding at first. Like it was a joke, and at any second you would've said 'psych' and decked me through the window."

She started laughing, "Yeah, I had to drag you over to me, because you were all bundled up at the edge."

"Of course, I hadn't done that before! You'd know, though, being a perv, and all, you gotta be the initiator. You probably just wanted to feet my rock-hard che-"

"I'm not a pervert!" he grinned when he got his desired result: anger.

"Sure," he said rolling his eyes, "and the Icha Icha collection at my house is mine," he retorted.

"I swear, don't tell anyone about that, only you and Ino know! I swear do you like to see me humiliated!" she yelled, growing even more furious.

"Never!" he said clutching his chest, feigning emotional pain, "Though I like to see you pissed. It's kind of funny." He reached out and ruffled her hair, while chuckling.

"Naruto stop it!" she said in an attempt to be angry, though she couldn't stop the giggles. She always loved it when he ruffled her hair, because they were a playful couple. "You know today is Ino's surprise birthday party, and I can't look like I just woke up."

"Oh yeah, I need to get ready."

"Yeah me too, and one of us has to get her to the place."

"Where is it at?"

"The Uchiha compound."

"Sasuke that dog," he said with a lecherous grin.

* * *

"So Sasuke, throwing this party at your house huh?" he asked Sasuke suggestively, while nudging his side. 

"Yes, who else would? Sakura came to me asking me to help her throw Ino a party, because I'm the only one with a place big enough. Save the Hyuuga's, but Sakura is better friends with me."

"Whatever, Teme keep telling yourself that, but don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying!" he threw his hands into the air.

"That's all I needed to know," Naruto nodded matter-of-factly.

"Whatever, dobe. By the way, where's Sakura?"

"Getting Ino."

* * *

"Hey Piggy, what are you doing for your birthday?" 

"I'm not sure, my parents gone, and I can't find anyone else, but you." She was slightly bummed that no one bothered to do anything for her birthday.

"Oh… then you want to go out… shopping or something?" she said purposely trying to make the request seem forced.

"Look Forehead, don't go with me because you pity me!" Before she was bummed, now she was pissed.

"Then you want to come with Naruto and me to a restaurant, we are going to tonight?"

"So, I can be a third wheel, no thank you!" she said aggravated Sakura would rub her loneliness in her face.

"No, silly, I mean you get a date too," she said clarifying, hoping Ino didn't get hint of a party. "Last time a checked a certain Uchiha you have been ogling is single."

Ino blushed at the mention of Sasuke's name. "W-what if he doesn't like me?"

True, they had spent more time together since Sasuke was freed. They would glance at each other, and he walked her home often, but hell, how was a girl to be sure.

Sakura smirked, "Since when has that ever stopped you from coming onto a guy? Need I remind you of the cutie from Kirigakure?"

Ino's face flushed even more, "No, no, I'll go with you and Naruto."

"'Kay but we need to go get Sasuke from his house, he doesn't know of the plans."

* * *

"SURPRISE!" 

Never had Ino suspected a surprise. It hadn't even occurred to her that her friends would go through the trouble. Hell, it only made it worse that she was walking into a room with high class ninja that could mask there chakra.

Most of her friends was present. Basically, all the rookie nine and Temari, who came with Shikamaru.

Turning, Ino saw the large grin plastered on Sakura's face, and she gave the pink-haired kunoichi a hug. Sasuke came forward and wrapped his arms around the both of them. After which, Naruto came barreling through the room, tackling them, in a giant hug. Ino, the poor girl, was smashed under her friends' weight.

"Could you guys please get off of me, it is freakin' hot damn!" Ino whose face was read, from the body heat she was receiving.

"Hey Teme, you got a pool right, let's just go sit by the pool."

"It's more like a pond/lake, but I guess it's a pool, because of the chlorine. Whatever, it's fine by me dobe," they got off of her and began walking towards the pool.

Realization struck Ino, "Guys, I don't have my bathing suit with me…"

Sasuke reached into a nearby drawer and pulled out a two piece purple bikini. "About this…um, the dobe took it from your house," he said blushing from the awkward situation.

* * *

"Hey Teme, I got an idea about how you can get Ino-chan," Naruto snickered. 

"It isn't something that is gonna make me want to blow my own head off, is it?" Naruto's previous 'plans' had always been fruitless. In fact, they were, most of the time, downright dangerous.

"Have I ever steered you wrong?" Sasuke glared at Naruto, making eyes even more fearsome then the Sharingan (sp?). "Okay that time with the Mist Nin doesn't count! He was asking for it! 'Sides this time is different!"

"Okay Naruto, what's your plan?"

Naruto leaned in, to whisper into Sasuke's ear. He smirked; the dobe finally had a good idea. It was still half-baked, but even that was a rare occurrence. Come to think of it, it was his fault the Kiri Nin, Ino liked, left.

* * *

Shikamaru and Temari were talking to Kiba and Hinata, by the pool side. Shino was off admiring the bugs, while Chouji accompanied him, with a bag of chips. Neji and Lee were with Tenten, getting a tan, nearby the pool. Ino and Sakura were standing on the dock talking with each other. Naruto and Sasuke, though were no where to be found. 

"So Ino, you gonna ask out Sasuke or what?" Sakura asked, failing to notice the two figures in the nearby bushes.

"I-I don't know…I mean…I haven't thought…wanna get me something to drink," she said attempting to escape the question.

"Now's our chance," whispered the shadow.

"Don't think I'll forget," she said backtracking, still facing Ino, making a gesture that said 'I'm watching you.'

She, however, could not finish her victorious exit due to the fact that she ran into a man's chest. The man embraced her from behind, and held her tight. Who the hell would dare grab, Sakura; the woman had the mental and physical capacity to shatter every bone with a single blow.

"NOW!"

_The hell? I know that voice! God Damn it Naruto, what are you up to now?_

She would have normally accepted his embrace, if it was a sign of affection. This felt mischievous, but damn if it still didn't feel good. Though, she couldn't really move, because he had grabbed her around her arms. (Think of the fanart where Naruto is hugging Hinata from the back.)

She noticed out of the corner of her eye, Sasuke run towards them. The blow she braced herself for never came. Instead, she saw Sasuke jump over her and her boyfriend, towards Ino. He grabbed her in an embrace as his momentum rocketed the two into the water.

Sakura could feel her boyfriend chuckling, into her back. She was then, promptly, hoisted into his arms, bridal style.

"Naruto put me down; I have to go see if Ino was ok! Why would you guys do that?"

"She's fine, and no one was going into the pool, so that was the plan. Now I hear you want me to put you down!" He had a mischievous grin on hi face as he walked toward the edge of the dock.

"No, no, no, no, Naru-" He let her go and dropped her into the water. "Naruto…" Sakura whimpered, feigning sadness. "Well could you at least help me out?" she said, dangerously close to letting a fake tear fall.

Naruto could not stand that look. The fact that he could make such a beautiful face, contort into one of grief, made him shiver. No matter what the condition, Naruto would make sure his girlfriend never be sad, the only exception being his death.

So, he reached his hand out, to help her up, which she used to pull him into the water. "Listen Fox, your not gonna trick me and get away with it okay," she playfully.

Naruto looked confused momentarily, at which Sakura laughed. It was strange how much he, in fact, looked like a kid.

_**He is soo cute!**_

He spoke up, "The hell did Teme and Ino-chan go? This wasn't part of the plan!"

"Plan?"

As if on cue, Sasuke and Ino came up, from underwater. Though, not to breathe, seeing as their lips were locked, it was physically impossible to do so. No, they came up to announce their love. Announce it to the world. The scenario seemed perfect; Sakura trees in the background, flowers, and blue skies. Oh and a freakin giggly couple right next to them!

They broke apart, and looked around, faces flushed from their intimate, public display.

"What?" Ino had an accused look on her face, like making out under water was the most common of occurrences. "We're a couple, we discussed it underwater."

"Alright Tem- wait how the hell did you discuss underwater?" Naruto inquired.

"It was more so act-"

"OK! Don't really need the details!"

* * *

If there certainly one thing tolerable about summer, it was the cool sunset breeze, that would lead into a comfortable night. It is the perfect time to lay on the grass and watch the sun go down, perhaps count a couple clouds. This is exactly what Naruto and Sakura were doing.

Naruto laid his head on Sakura's stomach, as they stared into the sky, now displaying multiple pigments. Sakura's hands absentmindedly stroked his hair. He told stories using vivid detail and dramatic arm motion, and she laughed occasionally at his antics.

If there is one thing Uzumaki Naruto can do, it's that he can always keep a smile on Sakura's face. She knew it as well as anyone else. She's a glutton for attention; always demanding the best, and there is only one Naruto.

"Hey Naruto, why are you laying down on my stomach?"

"Well, I tackled you to the ground, there for it is customary to surrender your comfort, and allow me to rest my head where I please."

"That so?" a small smile gracing her lips.

"For sure!" he said with conviction. "It's, like, the universal law of, like, the world!"

"Really?" she said rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, you don't wanna break the law do you? 'Sides my stomach is rock hard, totally uncomfortable. Whereas your stomach is soft a flab-" he was cut off by a bonk, to the head.

"You callin' me fat?" she said, with anger in her voice. "And enough with the abs already!"

"I was just kidding, Sakura-chan. You have the most beautiful stomach ever, so flat and defined." He kissed her stomach, repetitively.

"Stop, that Naruto, it tickles!" he stopped and grinned at her.

He laid his head on her stomach, and wrapped an arm around her waist. He mumbled into her skin, "I love you so much, and I'm never gonna leave you."

She heard Ino's voice yell something from the other side of the compound. She couldn't hear it, but Naruto did, with his heightened hearing.

"Ooh cake!" he exclaimed as he got up. "C'mon Sakura-chan, I wanna get some cake!" he ran off with a childish twinkle in his eye.

_So much for never leaving me!_

* * *

**Sorry about the wait again. Well there you have it. I plan on starting my new story now. Thanks for the reviews again everyone.**

**So, there is some SasuIno. If you don't like it deal with it. It is a secondary couple.  
**


	11. Operation: Tonsilectomy

**Okay so back again, with Immature for Life. I had started a new story, but my motherboard fried, so now I have to rewrite it. Which, I eventually will do. I thought I might as well update the story that I have already posted online. **

**Again, sorry for the long waits. I do have other stuff to do. Not that any of you have been bothering me to update. You all have been awesome!**

* * *

Operation: Tonsilectomy

"Naruto," Sakura sighed for the umpteenth time, "how can you have a sore throat again? It's only been a week since the last one."

It was the third time of the month that Naruto was in the hospital, complaining about a sore throat. Of course he'd always start by barging through the Hokage office, to which Tsunade would choke him. That, of course, didn't help out his throbbing jugular at all.

"I don't know Sakura-chan, I think that virus is out to get me. Maybe I need to sacrifice something as an offering. Like a goat or something?" he stroked his clean-shaven chin, "I'm really desperate though, it hurts real bad!" he said hysterically.

"Calm down Naruto, an sit up on the bed. I need to examine you to make sure your not infected with something worse, like strep throat."

"Strep throat?" he stared at her wide-eyed, his voice barely above a whisper.

She placed her hands firmly around Naruto's neck, to feel for his lymph nodes.

"Ack, Sakura-chan stop, you're choking me!"

She gave him a cute look, "Aw, but I'd never do that to you Naruto," In response, Naruto just grumbled and let her continue.

She then proceeded to take a look at his ears. "Sakura stop, that tickles my ears. Why do you want to look at my ears when my throat hurts."

"Because Naruto, your ears, nose, and throat are connected. So, if something is wrong with your throat, something may be wrong with your ears."

"Oh"

"Yes, now take off your shirt!" Sakura demanded. In her defense, she wasn't as forceful with her other patients, but hell it was fun to get back at Naruto. Plus, the guy had been annoying the hospital staff for three weeks.

He complied, and she blushed. He always made her do that. His six pack was perfectly cut, yet not grotesquely bulging. They were tight and tan, even when he didn't flex. She melted every time he took off his shirt, and damn it all, he was going to take it off every chance he got.

She got out her stethoscope and placed it on his naked torso. He shuddered at the temperature of the device. "Okay keep taking deep breaths." He did as he was told, while she moved the stethoscope around his chest and back.

"Okay Naruto, one last check. Open your mouth and say 'ah' please."

He opened his mouth, "Ah please." He then managed to laugh with his mouth open.

She shined light on the back of his throat, and checked for problems. The removed the light from his mouth and wrote the information on her clipboard. _So it was his tonsils, huh. Well he's not going to want to hear this next part then. _"I'm afraid we are going to have to remove your tonsils. Apparently Kyuubi's chakra can't fix everything."

He stared at her for half a minute and said, "Come again?"

"We have to take out your tonsils, otherwise you'll get sick again!"

"What do you mean sick, look at me I'm better all ready!" To prove his point he got up and attempted to walk around. Alas, his rapid jump up made him lose the blood in his head. He got dizzy and almost fell down on Sakura, who just caught him and through him back. He had a downcast look, and she just hated to see that.

Sakura rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. A new tactical plan was in order, to get him to understand. She cupped both of his cheeks, and tilted his head so he was looking at her. "Listen, baby, I know you are scared, but you have to do this. Otherwise, you'll be coming here a lot more often. I mean c'mon you're burning up." She tucked his head under her chin and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"What if something goes wrong, though. Wha-"

She put a finger up to his mouth to silence him. "Don't talk like that. Besides, it's only getting your tonsils out."

"I know, but I'm still scared." He wrapped his arms around her as well and held her tight.

"Don't be. Dr. Takeshi is a great surge-"

"Wait! You're not gonna do the procedure? Not even baa-chan."

"Well, I'm not a surgeon, in this hospital, yet. I'm medical, we diagnose. Shishou (sp?) is both, but she has more needy patients to look after."

"You're not even going to be there," he said looking into her eyes. She could see he felt hurt.

"Well, I'll try." He, then, for a lack of a better word, glomped her. She bopped him on the head, "stop being such a baby too. You've had worse surgery done to you."

"Yeah, but I was always, brought in unconscious, and it was always baa-chan doing the surgery."

"Well, I can take care of the unconscious part," she said deviously cracking her knuckles.

He nervously sputtered, "N-no, it's okay, I feel much better, especially since you are going to be there."

"I said I would tr-" she was about to tell him, but she decided against it. She just calmed him down. "So how are you feeling?"

"My throat still hurts, real bad."

"Aw poor baby, you want a kiss?" he eagerly nodded. "Well your not getting one. You're sick, and you're going to get me sick too." She instead blew a raspberry. She laughed, when he looked down, sulking.

"Sakura, you're mean!" his playful voice, destroying the truth behind his words.

* * *

One week later. 

"C'mon Naruto we have to go to the hospital!"

"I can't, I was sure about it a week ago, but I just can't do it. It's too scary."

"Naruto you will do the surgery if I have to drag you into it. Do you understand."

"I don't wanna!" he yelled back.

"Don't underestimate me!" She grabbed him by the ear, and fiercely tugged him to the hospital. He was kicking and pushing the entire trip. When they finally arrived, his ear was red and swollen."Listen you can walk into that hospital like the ninja you are, or I can force you to do it like you were a little boy."

"You're right!" he took a deep breath and walked in, "let's do this!" He assumed a tough-guy swagger, and walked into the hospital.

A young nurse walked up to Naruto and gave him a gown and bag, "Here wear this gown, and put your clothes in this bag."

To say Naruto felt exposed in his new clothes would be pretty accurate. "Sakura-chan, I think this gown is missing the back."

"It's supposed to be like that."

"Well, that's stupid. You docs are perverts huh?"

"Shut up!" Sakura pulled out a needle from a nearby drawer.

"Wait! Woah, what are you going to do with that?"

"I'm going to hook you up to an IV"

At this point Naruto was shivering in fear, "Wait hook, I don't like the sound of that."

"Shut up and sit still, the less you move the less it will hurt."

"It's gonna hurt, this blow- ahh! Warning Sakura, is it too much to ask?" He started yelling, then scratching at the IV, that was irritating his arm.

"Would have heard it if you shut up like I told you."

A middle aged man with brown hair and brown eyes walked up to Naruto's bed. He wore round glasses, and a white coat. Under his coat, he wore his green scrubs.

"You must be Naruto, I'm Dr. Takeshi. I will be performing the surgery." He shook Naruto's hand. "Haruno-san has told me all about you." A couple nurses came up and began pulling the bed into the OR. Sakura and Dr. Takeshi walked behind them.

Once inside, the anesthesiologist, placed an oxygen mask on his face, and began preparing the anesthesia. He placed the anesthesia directly into the IV tube, and waited for him to fall asleep. Sakura gave Naruto a reassuring squeeze and kissed him on the forehead before his world went black.

* * *

When Naruto woke up he felt a hand gently brushing his hair. He wafted a strawberry scent and he was positive it was emanating, from Sakura. He slowly managed to open his eyes, to see said Kunoichi. "Hey Naruto, how do you feel?" 

"Ok, my throat kinda hurts though." His voice came out raspy.

"Well it should actually hurt more than kinda, but I guess that is the power of the Kyuubi."

"This was outpatient, so oyu can leave whenever you are ready."

"Really! Well then what the hell are we waiting for let's leave!" With newfound energy Naruto grabbed Sakura and was about to run out.

"Eh Naruto?"

"Yes?'

"You have to change your clothes."

"Oh yeah duh." he nervously scratched the back of his head.

* * *

"Ah, fuck yes! I can believe it! ICE CREAM ALL THE TIME! GLORIOUS ICE CREAM! Fuck me, that's awesome!" 

"Yeah Dobe, I heard you scream that shit out for like, thirty-five minutes now. Would you please Shut the Fuck Up!"

"Troublesome," Shikamaru sighed.

"You're just lucky that Ino and Temari have a soft spot for you and they made us take you out for ice cream."

"You wanted to take me admit it Teme!"

"No I didn't"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night bitch."

_Should have killed him when I had the chance._

* * *

**This was inspired by true life. I had to get surgery, except on my nose. The bridge of my nose was crooked and made my air passage smaller, so they straightened that. **

**Ok thus concludes another chapter. I might make the next one more humorous, by including 'the guys'. I'm kind of in the mood for funny anyways. I tried to make this one have both though. Review and all that. Last time I only got three. Though, one time I got like 7 so yeah, 7 is good. R&R until next time, bye.**


	12. Damn Rat

**Okay, I got a total of like four reviews last time, which means I need to improve my writing. I think I will do it with this chapter. I really am feeling the creativity. **

**Just like to thank all the reviewers, who have ever reviewed, right now.**

**Michiru's Mirror, Gnosismaster, OnlyTimeWillTell, sstmaniac2, butaneng, Austln, Sasusaku1776, Ambs1516, causeiambetta, keyblade-03, gof22, DarkwingDuck-L.G.D. Animaman, Tennisdesi91, Saturday, silver mist cloud, Hitokiri Jotham, nick naruxsaku, SakuNaruLover, Advent Griever, Tama Saga, Tk Macintosh, dbzgtfan2004, DarkHvNaura**

**Thanks to all of you.**

* * *

Damn Rat

What the hell is a Jounin to do, when there isn't many missions flooding into the village. Truth be told Naruto had been overworked for the past two weeks, but it just so happens in the ninja business, work means something to do. Not to mention, Naruto's good buddy Sasuke had absolutely nothing to do, seeing as how he can't take A rank missions, for another good six months.

"Teme, I'm freaking bored." It was a good thing Naruto told him, because it wasn't apparent from his current activity: swallowing ice and spitting it back into the cup. Not to mention they had been sitting at Ichiraku for half an hour, even though they had already finished breakfast.

"Got any bright ideas?" Sasuke began to reminisce on all the wonderful ideas that had spawned from Naruto's boredom. Thus prompting him to voice his opinion before his blond buddy could, "Oh, my bad, I forgot, no idea from you is bright." Admittedly, it came out slightly harsh. But hey, Naruto's a tough guy right?

"Fuck off Teme," Naruto said going back to his previous activity. "Well we could just ask Baa-chan if she could give us any mission. At least we'd have something better to do that this," he said gesturing to his cup.

"I suppose," he said as he smacked the cup out of Naruto's hand, and began walking towards the Hokage tower. Naruto, placed some money on the table and followed suit.

* * *

"What the hell do you mean you have no missions left? Not even a stupid D rank!" _How the hell is that even possible? Do we have too many Ninjas? Too many Genins? I mean that test is not even a mystery anymore, I'm surprised so many people don't pass._

"Gaki! Next time, try not to drift of to Ramen-land when I'm explaining something." _Ahh Ramen-land where all your dre- "_You're doing it again! Listen, It's just a slow week! That is all! If you be patient then maybe you can wait fo-"

"A slow week! You old hag, find us a mission then!" he screamed waving his arms.

Fuck this! I'm sick of trying to explain this to you! So hear is what you'll do! See that drawer," she said pointing to the corner, "move it."

Sasuke did the honors. It seemed to be fine, there was a hole near the molding, where the wall met the floor. Did Tsunade want them to fill in the hole?

"Ok Gaki and... other Gaki, you two will capture and/or kill the rat that is living in that wall." Sasuke a Naruto both looked stupefied. Scratch that, they were shocked out of there minds. Not even Sasuke could keep quiet.

"You want two Jounin caliber nins, to catch a mouse," the words sounded foreign even to him. Tsunade just nodded.

"That's not even a mission! No one asked for it, therefore you can't give it to us!" he said crossing his arms to announce his victory.

"Oh it's a mission now," she said withdrawing some cash from her purse and filling out an official ninja request form. "It's a request, from me to me."

"You've got to be shitting me!" There was a knock at the door and a voice called out.

"Is anyone inside?"

"Just Tsunade Baa-chaan," said Naruto as the man entered. The man was most likely as old as Jiraiya, and was most likely a former ninja, or perhaps a traveling hermit like Jiraiya. He had white hair and muscular build. His appearance prompted Naruto to say, "Yes this is Tsunade," he said pointing to the Hokage, "she likes the waves. Oh and she is single," he said nudging the man.

"Could you please step outside, I will be you soon," she said politely. However, the moment the man left she angrily glared at Naruto. You really need to stop that! Just because my name is Tsunade, doesn't mean I like waves!" (a/n I don't know what Tsunade means. I'm just saying that, because Tsunade is close to Tsunami)

"Yes you do, stop denying it. We just want you to be happy."

"For the last time brat, I don't like the waves, I don't want to be in a relationship, and if I find another old man asking me for a date, because a certain blond ninja said 'I'm approachable,' I'll kill you. And what is this we business."

Naruto nervously scratched his mane, "Um, Sakura was kind of in on it. In fact, she kid of selected them."

"And Ino helped."

"What the hell? One of them was old enough to be my father!"

"Actually, Baa-chan that was my pick. I thought it would be entertaining to see how smooth he was. Which he was," Naruto said grinning like an idiot. "Which he surprisingly, totally was. Strange."

"Whatever," Tsunade sighed, "Just get started on your mission. I'm going to escort this man, who has come from the mist country, in search of setting up a weapon shop. He is very rich, and is also an ex-nin, so we can't screw this up. Which means I'm staying far away from you two. So, you guys basically have all day to complete the mission." She was about to walk out when Naruto stopped her.

"Wait, how come you can't get the mouse?"

"I-uh kinda am-uh scared of mice." He looked confused. "I just think they are gross, you know from a medical standpoint. Carry too many germs. Well good luck." She ran out of the door.

"Well Teme how should we approach this?"

"Directly?" he said shrugging.

They began to prepare to catch the mouse. It was awfully quiet so Naruto started to small talk. "So Teme, you and Ino-chan huh? How is that going?" he said with a lecherous grin on his face.

"Not how you are thinking."

"Sure there isn't a little nookie. Perhaps some 'bow chicka wow wow'?" he said nudging Sasuke faily hard in the side.

"Not even sure what that means," Sasuke coughed. He turned his attention back to the mouse hole, "Ok I'm going to reach into the hole and grab it."

"I bet you did, 'bow chicka wow wow'," he said in a sing-song tone.

Sasuke decided to ignore his rude remarks. "I can't reach it, we're going to have to go from the back."

"'Bow chicka wow wow'. C'mon say it."

"You seal up the hole in the front, I'll seal the one in the back."

"'Bow chicka wow wow.' C'mon."

Damn Naruto was seriously getting on his nerve. Strange thoughts of homicide plagued the Uchiha's head. Perhaps, if he Chidori'd Naruto's mouth off. No, he'd still make noise. Maybe he could use a Doton Jutsu and seal his own ears. Yes, that would do nicely.

He was cut from his own thoughts when he felt a sharp prick on his finger. "Ow she bit mm- I mean, it bit me." _Damnit._

"'B-b-b-bow chicka wow w-'" That's it, he had to break something. Maybe he could at least break Naruto's head.

"If you 'Bow chicka wow wow' one more time I'll kill you." At this, Naruto burst out laughing. "What, what is so god damn funny?"

He said in between laughs"I knew I could make you say it." That's it. He couldn't take it. Naruto's head would just have to do. _Relax, Sasuke, it isn't worth it. He is just joking around. He doesn't know that this makes you want to kill him.  
_

"Listen up Dobe, this isn't working, but fear not, I have a better idea."

* * *

"Oh shit! Baa-chan is coming!" Naruto and Sasuke were in the hall, outside of the Hokage's closed doors. "We can't let her go in there! We'll be fucked!" 

"Well fucking distract her, I'll be in there. Just pretend like it's my turn and you're taking a break." He slunk inside the door and closed it tight.

Tsunade walked up to the blond, "Hey Gaki how's the mouse hunt." He nodded. "Well I suppose that means good." She walked passed him and grabbed the knob.

"Wait baa-chan, you can't go in there." She had a confused look on her face. "Well...um we were using kunai right. Well first, there is more than one mouse."

"How many?"

"Like... twelve." He was now sweating profusely.

"And?"

"Well, they all ran out, and we pinned them, but by the tail," Naruto rambled. He couldn't believe he could lie so well, and so quick. Even though it was a stupid story. "Then, the resilient sons of bitches, ran until the tails ripped off their butts."

She attempted to speak, but closed her mouth. She paused an then tried to speak again. "Their tails ripped?" she arched an eyebrow.

He nodded, "Yes, clean off." She looked like she still didn't understand why she couldn't go in. "The kunai are still pinning the tails to the floor," he paused, "it's gross."

"I just need to get my purse, that's all. I'll be in and out real fast. I'm going to lunch."

"Money is that all!" he began fanning his hand at Tsunade, in a nervous manner. "Here take this." He handed her a wad of money, enough for lunch for two.

"I can't take this Naruto. It wouldn't be right. I have more money than you."

"Nonsense," he laughed nervously, "take it. I insist. I just don't want you to hurl before lunch. I got to protect my Baa-chan." He laughed again hopping she'd buy it. "There's enough for saaakeeee," he said in a faint, echo-like whisper.

She shrugged, "Whatever. See you later." There was no possible way of getting passed Naruto, when he was up to something. So, she dropped the ordeal and left.

Naruto sighed out of relief and wiped his brow. He had dodged another one. _Uzumaki you are one good liar._ He knocked on the door and Sasuke came out.

"I can't believe she bought that shit. That has to be like the stupidest thing I have ever heard. And trust me I have heard some pretty stupid stuff. Come to think of it the top three have come from your mouth."

"Hey, fuck off already!" He looked around again, searching for any other intruders. His eyes went wide at the sight. "Teme, you're not going to like this."

Sasuke looked in the direction that Naruto was staring. "Ah, fuck me! What the hell are we supposed to do now?" he said looking at his partner, who was repetitively slamming his head against the wall, muttering 'why?'.

"Don't look at me I'm all out of money. Besides, it's what the hell are you going to do. I distracted the last one and now it's your turn to make some shit up."

Naruto welcomed the two that just walked up to Tsunade's door. "Hey Sakura-chan, Ino-chan! You guys are looking beautiful! ... Any ways what are you guys doing here? You know besides being beautiful. Hehe," he said scratching his neck, chuckling like a nervous idiot.

"We need a file for the hospital," Ino said dryly.

"File, what do you mean? I was just in there, I didn't see any files. Did you Naruto?" He shook his head. "No, no files. I don't know what you are talking about! Pshh files."

"Just get out of the way Sasuke!" Sakura, really didn't have time for this.

"But-"

"MOVE!"

"Alright, alright," Naruto and Sasuke, moved to rest their backs on the wall, across from Tsunade's door. It was only a matter of time before those two come out pissed.

Speaking of which, they both watched the girls open the door. They couldn't watch the rest, it was too scary. Sakura and Ino put one foot inside the door and just stood there. Neither said anything, as they silently stood there. They both walked out of the door backward, not removing their gaze from the room. Sakura closed the door and they both turned around to face their respective boyfriend.

There was some hope. Hell, they didn't seem too pissed, right? At least it looked like it to most people. Sasuke and Naruto knew better: They were fucked. Both girls crossed their arms and stared at the boys, tapping their feet rhythmically on the floor.

"Listen, Ino I c-" The Uchiha was cut off by his girlfriend.

"Sit!"

Naruto spoke in his defense, "But-"

"You sit down too!" Sakura seethed. The boys sat down, their gaze focused on their crossed legs. The message seemed simple look up and die. For, looming above them were the faces of doom.

Sakura was about to speak, but she paused. Eventually, she found the right words and said, "Whose genius idea was it to plant explosive tags all over Shishou's office?" Neither of the two replied. "I'm waiting!" To emphasize her point Sakura place both hands on her waist. Slowly, Sasuke raised his hand.

"Look, but Sakura I can explain. We were trying to catch a mouse and-"

"-You used explosives." Ino cut him off. "Why would you do something so stupid? You know if one goes off, they all explode!"

"Well, we couldn't catch it, so we thought we might try to blow it up. This is Teme's fault," he said pointing an accusing finger at Sasuke.

"That it is Naruto," said Ino.

"I think I'm getting the shitty end of the stick," Sasuke mumbled.

"The only stick that is shitty, is the one that is stuck up your ass! Burn!" Sasuke just glared at Naruto. "Sorry dude, might as well die knowing those were my last words."

"Oh Na-ru-to-kun, you're not quite off the hook," said Sakura in a breathy whisper.

Ino turned to Sakura and said, "Forehead, you think I could get Naruto this time. I'm tired with having to deal with Sasuke all the time, just like you're tired of having to deal with Naruto.

"Sure, I'll try something different."

-elsewhere-

CRACK!

"Did you just hear that?"

"Hm, troublesome." Shikamaru moved his Shogi piece, and lit another cigarette.

"Sounds, like Sakura punched someone. Didn't sound like Dick-less's face though," he moved his own piece.

"Probably Sasuke." Sai nodded.

BAM!

"That, was Dick-less, no doubt."

"Yeah, but Ino punched him."

"How do you figure?"

"I've been with the harpy for too long," he said rubbing his own chin.

-Hokage Tower-

"Ow, fuck, my head is killing me," Naruto groaned. "Your girl hits as hard as Sakura." Naruto's eye was swollen, and blood was coming out of his nose. Sasuke, had a large lump on his head, and a bruise on his cheek bone. "It's times like this having the Kyuubi, is a good thing."

"Yeah, and we still haven't caught that damn mouse."

"You know if we don't catch it, we're going to get it twice as hard from Baa-chan." He shuddered at the thought. How'd Ero-sennin handle the abuse all these years. She wasn't even slightly gentle.

"How are we supposed to catch that sonuvabitch?"

"I'm not used to making plans like this"

"Maybe we can... Suiton it out"

"Or maybe, we can poof to fairy land, where stupid ideas work, and don't blow up in our faces. Or maybe we can just magically summon some snakes, and have them magically catch it. Tch," he said sarcastically. _Crap_. "Oh sonuvabitch why didn't we think of that before."

"God damnit! I got my ass kicked for nothing! What the fuck!"

* * *

"Well, it seems you boys did a good job," Tsunade said looking around the room. "The mice seem to be gone." She reached into a drawer and pulled out a scroll. "Great news! We just got a large number of D-ranked missions. I can save one of these for you boys." She looked up, and the two of them were missing. "Boys?" 

_No wonder, I fucking hate D-rank missions. Next time, Teme and I will stick to something C-rank and above._

* * *

**Ok, this by far is my best, and I think longest work. I think it is definitely funnier. I tried to include description as well. This one is truly my favorite. Please R&R. Nothing much else really.**

**I checked and it is the longest. Oh well. I think it is still better. Turns out the current longest one has the most review. Maybe it's a pattern O.o**


	13. Mei

**Okay you guys are wonderfully patient and don't think I don't love it. I know it's been well months. Weelll Junior year has kept me busy, and the only reason I'm writing this today is because I'm home sick. Well enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

"_Mei move, he's coming right at you!" her teammates screamed out to her. She would have moved, but the conditions really were not in her favor. It was raining, no scratch that, it was pouring, so not only did it make it difficult to move, but it made it hard to hear. _

_No, she just stood there, watched as the enemy got closer. She was frozen in place, just like some of the rain drops that were falling. Time moved slower as she stared at his blade approach her midriff. How painfully slow it was to watch it nearing her._

_The pain never came when it pierced her, the scream she wanted to emit was trapped in her throat. The battlefield never seem so quiet ever before. The pool of blood was slowly being mixed with the rain as it ran down the hill, eroding evidence of the violent atrocity committed._

_Blood splattered on her face. Blood she thought was hers, but it didn't really make physical sense that it would spurt up from her stomach. No, it was the enemies. Wonderful, her sensei got the enemy! The mission was a success. Who cares if it was at her expense? At least that's what they always told her at the academy. The shinobi system was definitely a peculiar institution._

_Darkness enveloped her as she collapsed, on the blood soaked field._

* * *

_Damnit! I hate my job_! Anko thought. I mean who wouldn't? She's paid to get close to a couple of pre-pubescent ninja, and eventually does. But then, she has to watch them get the living snot get beaten out of them. It was more than one woman could take.

She looked down in her arms, _Now__one of my students get stabbed. _Now Anko was definitely a strong woman, there was no doubt in anyone's mind, just ask the male population of Konoha. But even she had emotion. Her tears blended with the rain as each drop rolled off her chin.

The look of the two boys in her group tore her heart to shreds. They ran far ahead of her. She smiled at how much they cared for her, despite how they acted so tough and apathetic around each other. Cute kids.

Konoha's gates appeared over the horizon. Finally, they were almost home, almost at a hospital. They didn't bother checking in at the gate, and the guards didn't bother asking. They saw the urgency in Anko's pace, and they really didn't want to get on her sour side. It was a bad road to travel down.

The city never flew by so fast. Why the hell was the hospital so damn far from every damn gate?! Damn! _Aha! There it is!_

She kicked the door and ran in. "I need a room stat!" she bellowed, "Sakura please! My genin was stabbed"

Sakura had seen this before: panicking sensei, hurt genin, first timer she supposed. Though that wound did look deep. She led Anko to the Emergency Room.

* * *

"Well Anko, we've managed to stop the bleeding, but it seems the tip of the blade was coated with poison. Her kidneys are failing, so we put her on dialysis." She put a comforting hand on Anko's shoulder. "We'll try our best to find her a kidney, but until then she's going to have to stay in the hospital. You must know though that she does need a kidney, because the poison will soon eat through other organs"

"Thank you, Sakura, I know you guys are trying," Anko said. "How long does she have for you to find it?"

"Two maybe three days, but don't worry we get deceased nins and donors all the time, we'll put her as top priority," she smiled

* * *

Sakura's shift was over, and she was dying to see Naruto. Enough so that she ran home at top speed; it was a long day and girl needed her loving, and well Naruto managed.

His apartment lights were off, which momentarily threw her off. It's not like he'd go to sleep until she came home, especially when he knew she was coming to his place. She shrugged it off and went ahead and opened the door.

Odd, the lights were off. _Maybe he did go to sleep_, she frowned inside. She sighed and placed her things down by the door. Might as well go to sleep too, seeing as today was going to be fairly boring. She flipped on the lights to walk to Naruto's room.

"Uzumaki tackle attack!" she heard from behind her. She was about to turn, but she was sort of knocked of her feet. She felt someone's arms around her waist and someone's face nuzzled into her hair. She had a good guess as to who it was.

"It's good to see you to Naruto" she giggled, "I thought you already went to sleep"

"C'mon, like I'd ever go to sleep without you, if I knew you were coming," he grinned his foxy grin.

"Aww" she patted his head.

"So how was your day?"

Sakura looked down, and immediately Naruto wished he didn't ask, "Well it was great up until the last patient. Anko's genin was stabbed and her kidney's are failing and she needs a donor, because the dialysis isn't really working. Hopefully tomorrow we can get a donor."

Naruto tightened his grip, "Don't worry you'll find the donor" he smiled. She suddenly got the feeling she would, just because he said so.

"C'mon let's go to sleep, I'm really tired."

He got up and bowed, "As you wish Haruno-san. I am but your mere boy toy, do with me as you will, but may I request you be gentle."

She smacked him playfully, "Fine the I request you cuddle with me" she giggled.

"As you wish" he bowed again and grinned.

* * *

It had become habitual for Naruto to take Sakura out to lunch every Friday afternoon, during her lunch break. It had become far too common to go a week without it. It's not like they didn't spend time, it was just something they had to do. Something to feel complete.

He whistled while walking towards the hospital, he felt happy for some reason. He looked forward to Friday.

Sakura as usual was waiting outside for her, except today even she seemed exceptionally giddy. She had a bright smile adorning her face and ran at Naruto. She caught him off guard for a moment, but he realized what she was trying to achieve, and hugged her around the waist, and swung her around.

"We did it! Mei got her kidney!" she squealed as she hugged Naruto.

"Oh really, whose did you take?" Naruto said excited. Death was hard to deal with even as a ninja. Enemies, he could deal with, it was his comrades he'd never forget.

"A nuke-nin. We managed to get our medical team out to the gates and salvage the organ before they did away with the body," she hugged him tight again, "C'mon! Let's get going! I'm so happy today"

They decided on going for sushi-- well Sakura decided mostly because Naruto's food choice involved well Ramen and uhh well Ramen. And today of all joyous days Sakura was not going to settle for the boiled noodles.

"So Naruto what'd you do today?" Sakura broke the 'silence'. It would have been silent if it wasn't for the clanging of the stack of empty plates next to Naruto. He was a machine

"Nothing! I was so bored! I swear you medic-nin all have it out for me." he whined. "Baa-chan never gives me a damn mission and you always work! I mean c'mon what's a guy to do?! Hang out with Kakashi and read his porn books all day?!" he exclaimed.

"Now why would me and shishou ever want to do something like that to you" she rolled her eyes.

"Because you guys are both evil women who enjoy seeing me suffer! I know your tricks don't think I don't! I'm going to be Hokage one of these days!" he pointed accusingly.

She laughed, "Yep you caught us hun. I guess there's nothing slipping passed you is there?"

"You better believe it baby," he closed his eyes and nodded, "and as a prize I get that tuna in your plate that's been calling to me" he reached his chopsticks into her plate and took a piece of tuna sushi.

"It called you?" she eyed him suspiciously. She had to hear this one. His crackpot imagination was entertaining most of the time and if anything at least it was cute.

"Well I can tell you but I doubt you speak tuna" he said.

"Oh really? And you do?" she smiled.

"Yes! Yes I do! I have to, you know, for official hokage business and stuff like that. See that's where baa-chan failed as leader" he pointed the sushi at her with his chopsticks to help prove his point.

"And here I would have thought it would have been her temper or drinking, but thank you for enlightening me," she said sarcastically, to which he nodded. "But oh future Rokudaime, could you please translate for me, seeing as you probably will have to, being the diplomat you are supposed to be?"

"Okay since you asked so politely. This is what it said to me. Ahem!" he cleared his throat. He assumed a high pitched echoey voice, and held it next to her face "Naruutttoooo... Naruuuttoooo... saaavee meee... help meeee... eaaaat meee. She's too pretty to eat me, I'm nervous."

Sakura chuckled and grabbed the sushi and held it in her palm, "So he thinks I'm pretty huh?" He nodded. "Well maybe I should dump you and go out with the tuna instead," she smirked. His eyes widened as he lunged forward and ate the sushi out of her hand.

"What tuna?" he said with his mouth full. He swallowed the food in his mouth and after her fit of laughter was over he decided to break the silence. "He wants to give you a kiss, is that okay?"

"Mmm, okay" he leaned forward and kissed her face, to which she giggled. "So what? Does he still like me?"

"No he says you taste funny," he grinned.

* * *

"I'll pick you up after work" he waved to her.

Sakura walked through the double doors into the medical floor. The room was in a slight uproar surrounding Mei.

"What's going on here Shizune-san?" Sakura asked.

"We don't know. All of a sudden Mei's vitals are failing and no one can figure out the reason. The kidney transplant was a success, so it can't be because of the surgery."

"Shit!"

A nurse came rushing through the doors, "Haruno-san, we got the autopsy results," she handed Naruto a manila folder.

Sakura's eyes scanned the report and widened in disbelief, "Malaria? He died from Malaria? How does that make any sense?! No, no, no, no this can't be happening" she momentarily panicked. Recomposing herself she said, "Ok listen up people I want someone in Mei's room constantly, we know the infecting agent lets do our best to stop it!"

Doctors and nurses scattered in various directions. Time for Sakura couldn't seem to move slower. Every pained breath Mei took seemed to reverberate through her body. How could she miss Malaria? It wasn't possible he had to have been killed by a human, he was stabbed! It wasn't even tetanus running through his veins, but bloody Malaria.

_Her temperature is rising_

_Her heart beat is slowing_

_Her breathing is pained_

She needed a break. The lounge was empty, at this time of the evening. It was Friday so most of the Doctors had left, save the necessary ones. Mei's condition hadn't worsened in the last half hour. Hell maybe she was safe! Maybe her immune system was responding to the medication! It could happen! She'd seen enough medical mystery shows to know damn near everything except a kunai straight through the brain could possibly be cur-

_Beep, beep, beep_

Sakura looked at her pager, even though she knew what it was for. She should have known nothing like magical ever happens in Konoha Nin Hospital. But she figured she'd check because just maybe someone in power was pulling for her to win.

_Haruno-san to ICU 106-2_

Like lighting she shot out of the room, bounded down the stairs to the first floor: ICU. She didn't need to open the sixth door on the right as she usually had to, seeing as a horde of doctors were coming to aide Mei. Swiftly, Sakura cut through the mob, and approached her bed. Her skin was pale, and the oxygen mask only added to her ghastly look.

The heart monitor near the bed emitted it's ear piercing monotoned sound. God how she wished she could hear that annoying beep, but it wasn't gonna come back if she just stood around.

Sakura charged the defibrillator. She had to do this, she knew she could. It was only done nine million times in the movies. How she hated those stupid movies right now; everything worked so God damned perfect.

"Clear!" the shock ran through her frail body and made it convulse. It seemed the spasm reverberated throughout Sakura's body as well.

It wasn't back! That God forsaken beep that kept her up on long nights in the hospital wasn't back! She wanted to hear it!

"Clear!"

_Nothing_

"Clear!"

_Nothing_

"Clear!"

_Nothing_

"Haruno-San, it's over, pronounce her..." a near-by doctor said.

"No!" her body rattled with every sob, and her eyes glimmered with tears yet unshed. "She could still come back! She can! It's happened before! You know nothing!" Sakura was about to charge it again, only to be pushed back into wall by a couple of nurses.

"Haruno-san, she's gone" one of the nurses whispered to her.

The tears fell. They were right, it was over. She broke the hold of the nurses and pushed over a stand with various scalpels.

"God damn it!" her voice echoed through her tears "She could have lived, if we just waited!" She inhaled sharply and composed herself. "Time of death 8:37 pm," she said in a professional voice.

Silently, she stormed out of the room.

"Sakura-san, where are you going? They need you on floor two" a voice called from behind.

"I'm done..." she called back, removing her coat and throwing it in the hazardous materials basket.

* * *

"Shizune-nee-chan" Naruto called her concerned, "where is Sakura her shift ended half an hour ago?"

A frown adorned her countenance, "I'm afraid none of us know where she went after Mei died. She just left. She seemed pretty beat up about losing her."

"Mei?! Passed away?" his 'sister' nodded. An inaudible 'no' escaped his lips. He ran to the stairs and up as many flights as he could. He had no clue where the hell she was, but something, something in his chest told him where to go. A microscopic navigation system that seemed pinned on _her_ location. Maybe it was for all those years he was chasing her around.

He arrived at the roof; he was right. There she was in all her misery, hunched over herself, on top of one of the electric transformers. The night was peaceful, yet the emotions of the two lovers were completely chaotic; sympathy to grief.

"Sakura-chan," his voice sounded softer to himself than his usual boisterous self, "c'mon let's go home, it's later." No answer. He waited for what seemed like a long while before he thought he'd try again, "Sakur-"

"Twelve," a vague answer, "She was twelve, Naruto! Do you understand! We met when we were twelve and we've known each other for six years! Half of twelve!"

"She was a ninja-"

"She_was_ a daughter too!" she stood fully to face him, "What am I supposed to tell her parents?! Little Mei lived a good long twelve years! Sorry, we put the damn infectious disease in her in the first place!" the tears rolled passed her puffy eyes and down her soft cheeks.

He waled slowly up to her and looked down at her pink hair, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She resisted she punched his chest with weak fists and pushed his body away, but it was of no avail. Naruto held fast. He always did, whenever she needed him to be her unwavering rock, he was as solid as ever.

Her erratic crying settled down to silent tears, as she fisted Naruto's shirt. Sobs wracked her small body. He rested his chin on her head, gently.

"Sakura-chan," he said in a loud whisper, "you did what you had to in the time given. Who knows what would have happened if you didn't give her the organ right away. Any doctor would have done the same thing I'm sure. And no one would have suspected Malaria." He put a finger under her chin and propped to her face up to look into his eyes. "Mei had the greatest chance of survival, out of every doctor in this hospital save maybe baa-chan herself, in your hands. Even then Baa-chan couldn't have done anything."

"Thank you" she said as she moved back to hide her face in his shirt again.

He cupped her face with both hands this time and stared intently into her eyes; his sapphire eyes pierced her mold.

"Those aren't words of comfort, Sakura-chan. That's what I truly feel. I honestly think she had the best chance of survival in your hands, and don't forget it." He kissed her forehead.

She smiled genuinely, "Thank you, Naruto." She wrapped he arms around him, "For everything," she mumbled into his chest.

"Forever and always, Sakura-chan" he said as he stared at the stars.

Sakura's night grew old in his arms. She fell asleep only to find herself awake in Naruto's arms in his warm bed.

* * *

**Review!!**

**I love scrubs by the way. Great episode if you haven't seen it. Uhh I know, he's not immature in this one (I did that on purpose so DO NOT call me out on it). I just wanted to show he's not always a goof. That when she needs him he's there. That he's not being made Hokage for nothing. So, it's basically been forever since I updated this. I know I'm sorry. I'm busy. As for Long Awaited Return, I'll write the next chapter for that next. This itself took like 4 weeks just because I only write barely on the weekends. I'm not sick anymore haha. And I really didn't check for mistakes sorry, deal with me. Damn this is long, I'll shut up. So, read and review. **


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